Posts tagged nerd

Talk nerdy to me, baby!

Thanks, Bunny, for helping! ;)

Hot for teacher!

A huge shout out to Macbeth Photography for these awesome shots! Funny how we were just playing around, yet got some damn good dirty nerdy photos. ;) 

Do you know what I was doing at 2 o’clock in the morning last night?

After go-go dancing at Revolution…

I came home and instead of grabbing some food, stretching, showering, and getting my tired bum into bed, like I should have done, I stayed up looking for new books to read.

I was literally still in my go-go outfit, fishnets and all, sweaty and gross after a night of dancing, and I sat down on the couch with a mango (nom) and spent an hour looking for new books to read. [I’ve been through all the Top Whatever Books of Whatever Year from about every reputable source available, and I’ve pretty much read them all…hence why I’ve been having a hard time finding something decent.]

I feel like Humberto!

Anyway, reading is sexy, so there’s no shame in admitting how insanely nerdy I am for books…but seriously. Showering and sleep…kinda important.

If you feel like saving me some sleep in the near future, feel free to recommend some of your favorites!

xo!

So it happened.

Last week our little baby boys had to get their manhood removed. Their little kitty balls were getting so big that Banksy was starting to walk a bit cockeyed [ey, ey ]. The boys were hitting puberty, and with their Bar Mitzvahs right around the corner, kitty circumcision was necessary.

We had one incident where a stray cat came up to our front door, and both our kittens went nuts [ey, ey ], growling and poofing up and hissing at the door (and each other). This went on for quite some time, and as much as I LOVE WHEN CATS GET POOFY, I was scared they would start spraying the house [ew]. ALPHA CAT DOMINANCE!

As a parent, you just know when your children have come to a turning point in their lives. One minute, they’re these teeny little fluff balls, and the next moment, their teeny little fluff balls are being cut off. 

We set out the kitty carrier the night before, and both cats promptly crawled inside and fell asleep. Little did they know they were sleeping in the vehicle of their manly doom. I spent the night immersed in stacks of cat books and doing research online so I was well-versed in every detail of neutering, from a psychological to physiological level. If you’re going to be a crazy cat lady, you have to know your ‘ish, nahhmean?

[Poor Fenton! They weren’t allowed to eat after 10 p.m., and he’s our little fatty man. He was very confused why food was not forthcoming, even when he did his Puss in Boots eyes at us.]

The next morning we woke up bright and early. The little furry men hopped into their carrier, so trusting. So naive. So full of hope and dreams and potential to spawn thousands of litters of kittehs. [but not for long!]

I was more concerned than they seemed to be. Note Banksy, rolling around on his back in the carrier, purring his head off. [weirdo]

We had to leave them at the clinic, and I spent the next 8 hours biting my already short nails [because I’m a good lesbian and I keep my claws vagina-friendly…eyyyyy ] and pacing the house.

It was an intense day.

We finally got to go pick them up, and the nurse comes outside to deliver our little troopers. She said, “I just have to tell you, they are the sweetest, friendliest, cutest cats EVER! They completely made my day. I fell in love!”

‘Atta, boys! Swooning the ladies, like yer mamas taught you.

The poor little guys. They were super drugged, and pretty much narcoleptic-ed out immediately upon arrival.

Little kitty tongue!!!!!! Omgahhhhhh!

After a few hours they started waking up, but they looked like this:

And I’m pretty sure all they saw was this:

Soon enough, the whole ordeal was over. The cats are back to normal, being the wonderful, cuddly, playful, adorable, nap-happy, purr buckets of love that they are.

Gosh, parenting is hard, but so rewarding. [right, Mom?!]

x x

I just made it home from one crazy week(end). Story time will have to wait, because the Bunny hasn’t seen me for days and there’s a celebration going on today! [in case you haven’t heard…]

If you DO want a story, check THIS out for an oldie [but a goodie]. <3

But I pinky promise, updates are on their way. ;)

xx

Too bad I don’t have the cash money flow for that expensive taste. ;)

But…

Except…

So you know I love sweating it out on stage, but not in my car. My AC hasn’t been working for a while now, but it’s been lovely weather up until about a month ago, so I just now got around to taking my little Honda to the dealership for a “simple recharge”.

It ended up being a bit more complicated than that, and when they told me how much it was going to cost, I almost started to cry. (yeah, I was THAT girl - but yeah, it was THAT much.) Luckily, I am a lesbian and know dykes who know cars and I found a decent mechanic who will do it for hundreds of dollars less than the dealership. Hooray!

Unfortunately…it’s still going to cost me my entire financial cushion. Yikes. But I guess living an unconventional, performance artist-for-hire, never-have-to-go-to-an-office lifestyle has its drawbacks, such as living on the financial edge. ;)

(Oh, did I mention I spoil our kittens and just paid $300 for their own little tune-ups?)

So I guess I’ll have to trade in expensive tastes for simple tastes. [but good thing they’re pretty much equal to me.]

And hey, at least I will arrive at my destination sans sweat. [not cute]

Other than DYING every time I get into my car, life has been pretty much the usual. Which isn’t usual for anyone but me, I guess.

Let’s start with the Nerd.

I sent in my article for that internationally-distributed indie art, culture, and music magazine I told you about, and THEY LOVED IT! Hooray! Not only that, but they asked me if I’d be interested in contributing other articles, ranging from travel to art to music and so on. So after I stopped fist-pumping the air and trying to get my cats to high-five me, I wrote them back and told them I’d be thrilled. [It’s been a not-so-secret dream of mine to write for cool magazines. This is step one to fulfilling that dream! Huzzah!]

In other news, I’m also starting a business with my good friend and mentor, Jim. It’s A LOT of work, and won’t pay us anything until we actually launch (in early September), so until then, I’m having to find time to fit in working on it in between stuff that’s actually making mama some money. But it’s really exciting to have found a path that is satisfying, both to me personally and financially. I’ll tell you guys all about…another time. ;) [ohhh, anticipation!]

I’m writing every single day, every single week, for all kinds of different clients. It’s pretty rad, actually, to be freelancing to the point where some days I feel slightly overwhelmed. And ONE DAY my writing will be making me the big bucks instead of the petite bucks. ;)

After working all week, you know what was really, really nice [and verging on totally badass]? Getting to see my friends. This weekend I got to have dinner with a few of my besties:

Now, the lovely lady in the top right of this photo, Miss Mollie, is as big a cat lover as I am. And she is the one who will be entrusted with the care and love of our kittens when we are out of town. The lovely lady in the lower left of this photo is the ninja, Laura. Laura loves cats. But Laura is violently allergic to them. SAD TROMBONES! I used to forget this, and try to get her to cuddle cats.

Oops! Another side effect of being allergic to cats (aside from hives and not being able to breathe) is that people tend to think Laura doesn’t like cats. Which isn’t true in the least, but it’s a cruel trick played by the gods. Even I sometimes forget that she, in fact likes them. Laura has been wanting to meet the boys since we got them, and because she knows how big a deal it is to me to have cats, she drugged herself with serious allergy medication and ventured inside our kitten-invested home. Once inside, the cutest thing EVER happened: Laura produced from behind her back several brightly colored kitty toys for her nephews! OMG I DIED. CUTEST. THING. EVER. [second only to watching the boys play with aforementioned brightly colored kitty toys.]

It was really good to see my friends. :)

And to add to the good times, the Bunny & I had a double-date lunch soiree with this adorable couple:

Complete with ridiculously decadent cheesecake [it was a Sunday, and Sunday means that ridiculously decadent desserts are always felicitous <sounds dirty, eh? ;)]

Nom.

Oh, and I don’t know if this fits under the NERD update, but my mom totally got me an online subscription to YogaGlo.com, and I am STOKED! It has about a zillion yoga videos, divided into categories from style to duration to level. I am so happy!! Or zen. Or something.

When I’m not hanging out at Starbucks, glued to my laptop, or devouring some noms with my besties, I’ve been at the castle, hanging with wenches and being all royal [and taking iPhone photos in our oh, so Medieval locker room]. 

Oh, and guess what?! Every 4 1/2 to 5 years, Medieval Times puts in a new show. New lines, new story, new characters, new costumes, new fights, new games…you get the picture. So it’s about that time again, and I got my new script.

First, I find it crazy that I’ve been there for two shows and this will be my third. It’s been more than 9 years of princessing. That’s about a third of my life, people! Crazy town village. (eyyyyy, a bit of Medieval humor for ya there!)

I’ve been Princess Esperanza:

I’m currently Princess Leonore:

And next month will start my life as Princess Catalina. [I’ll take pictures of my new costume when I get it! yay!] My lines are just as ridiculous as they’ve been in other shows (Gentle nobles! and Beware, my love, beware! and I have had the finest fare in all the kingdom prepared for our guests! and shizz like that), and we’re starting to have rehearsals. Learning the new lines is almost starting to eff up my lines now, so the shows I’ve been doing have taken a lot more concentration so I don’t start mixing & matching!

And I recently found out something that made me feel pretty great (and run to tell my mom!). In the 9+ years I’ve worked at Medieval Times, I’ve never, ever had a customer complaint (about my performance, voice clarity, characterization, customer interaction, etc.). Not once. Someone who has been with us for many years just got fired for accruing several customer complaints over the course of his employment at the castle, so customer complaints are kind of a big deal. Go me! (I especially feel good about this because I have a slight lisp sometimes and I’m hyper-aware of it, hoping that the audience doesn’t detect it. I. Enunciate. Everything. haha)

Seeing that speech impediments are TOTES sexy, it makes an excellent segue into the sexy side of my life. Ivy has been making costumes, rehearsing, putting on shows, and sweating her booty off go-go dancing.

…and getting ready for PENSACOLA PRIDE! Which is right around the corner. [I still have my strong opinions about some things concerning certain aspects of this year’s event, but yay for having the Bunny. I share my views and my thoughts, and shocker! They actually stay with her. It’s amazing to have such a wonderful confidant who I can trust wholly. It’s a rare thing to have, as I’m finding out.]

But I’m more than excited about Unleashed: Pensacola Pride! And I keep forgetting that Memorial Weekend is actually a something outside of Pride. I keep seeing events for Memorial Weekend and I get confused. Like wait…this weekend ISN’T just for ten thousands gay people to get together to party and play? Weird.

The Bunny has unleashed her inner Martha Stewart and has been helping me make costumes. I come home and half my closet has been updated! She’s surprisingly good at it, too, especially considering the fact that she is a self-proclaimed failure at DIY. We’ve made some pretty wicked stuff lately, and I can’t wait to debut new outfits in Pensacola!

Oh, and the kitties have been “helping”.

Obviously.

So life is grand! My AC will be fixed [and thus defeating the HULK EVEY SMASH that happens when I get cranky from being sweaty and hot and gross in my car], good times will be had, money will be made, dance moves will be busted, and I’m doing it all with love.

Lots of it to you!

xoxo

Among other fabulous things! [don’t hate me for loving alliteration. I am, afterall, a nerd.]

I was about to say that life has been pretty busy - but that would be redundant. I don’t think I’ve stopped being busy since I hit puberty.

But what I’ve been doing the past week or so:

I’ve been having some serious meetings with Tommy the Dog.

Or rather, I’ve been having serious meetings with Tommy’s owner dad, my mentor and friend Jim. We’ve got some big plans in the works, so scheming is good times with this man (and his pup).

And like I’ve been doing every week for nine years, I spent some days adventuring at the castle, princessing and hanging out with some of my favorites. Like Victor. :)

Victor said he really likes the .gifs I’ve been using on my blog. So he is now a .gif himself!

The Bunny & I got to enjoy some food trucks this past week. We were starving! But didn’t see anything that struck our fancy; except cupcakes! Which, of course, eating several cupcakes on an empty stomach…well..it’s a good idea while you’re chowing down, but then I definitely felt ill. Here’s a picture of me, pre-feeling-gross and in the middle of feeling totally awesome. [that cupcake didn’t stand a chance.]

The Bunny couldn’t focus because she kept looking at a British pub right next door.

So we ventured off to the British pub for a spell, and finally ended up downtown for Mexican food, and then at iBar for a bit of dancing sitting downstairs, watching pro wrestling.

::insert a logical transition here::

The next day I got to spend some time with my bestie Mollie. She and her manbeast Ryan are engaged (!!!!), and I couldn’t be happier. He is pretty much the ONLY guy in the entire world who I’d approve of for Mollie.

Totes adorable. I’m a super girlie girl, but I was never much into weddings. That is, until Mollie got engaged. Now, I’m lurking wedding blogs, tearing out pictures in magazines, and sending Mollie everything I find with notes like, “Possibly for the reception??” or “Blue & violet are a FABULOUS color combo…IF you do it right!”. So basically, I am a gay man now.

Speaking of, I’ve been finishing decorating our little place. With gems like this:

In the bedroom. It’s all about the romance - and David Bowie.

And speaking of romance, the Bunny and I finally used our fireplace! [in April. In Florida.] We used it for the only thing a fireplace is worth using in Florida in April: S’MORES!

Nom nom nom!

And thank baby Jesus I had a weekend full of gigs to dance off those chocolatey, graham crackery, marshmallowy pieces of sticky heaven(y).

Revolution held a massive carnival Thursday night to raise money for charity, and to celebrate Neema’s birthday. He’s one of the craziest b*tches I’ve ever met, and it was fun to dance among bouncy houses and stilt walkers.

That is…

until my shoes broke.

I tend to dance my shoes to death, and another pair bites the dust. ::sad trombones::

Good thing I have duct tape and a few pairs left in my burlyQ closet that I can still dance in, because I had a show on Friday at the Cold Keg in Melbourne.

And another show on Saturday at Revolution.

Busy burlesqueteer!

Sunday, as you know, we got KITTENS! So I’ve been reading up:

Best book ever. :)

Oh, and in case you were wanting more pictures of the kittens, here ya go!

And here is Fenton, helping me work. By which I mean, making it impossible for me to get any work done at all.

So yeah, life is awesome. Except I’ll probably never leave my house again, thanks to these little muffins of adorableness [and the fact that I got them a laser pointer and OMG IT’S THE MOST FUN EVER!!]

See you when they come in to film my episode of Hoarders!

xx