Posts tagged life

Preteen Eveleena. Verging on puberty. Awkward as hell. Glitter-loving tomboy girlchild from a broken home. Messy and running with a rough crowd. [confession time: In 4th grade, this girl named Erica peer-pressured me into stealing. I stole a Hello Kitty 4x4inch little pillow from this other girl’s house. I went home and cried my eyes out and then called the girl’s mom and confessed to everything, before walking my ass back to her house {the not-sexy-time kind of walk of shame} and returning the (completely insignificant, never-would-have-been-missed-if-I-hadn’t-tattled-on-myself) pillow.]

I climbed trees, tried to adopt every single stray animal that I came across [possums are people, too!], and split my time between playing pretend and being a huge nerd [a.k.a. teacher’s pet, a.k.a. the early signs of lesbianism…].  

 Did I mention I was awkward as hell?

Okay, so you’ve got the visual. Luckily, my parents saw that I was - real talk here - totally lacking grace and sophistication and anticipated that puberty would probably be hard on me. To help counteract the tempest of hormonal suffering I was about to undergo, they gave me the greatest book ever:  the “What’s Happening to My Body? Book For Girls.” 

You guys, this thing was THE JAM. They’ve updated it over the years, but I still have my original copy. It covered everything, from periods to having feelings for other girls [so progressive!]. I wore that shit out!

You see, while my parents were incredible people, and were always there for me [even though they were people, too, and going through their own tumults], reading about all the awful things that were about to happen to me was VASTLY preferred over asking my dad. 

So by the time I actually did get my period, I didn’t think I was dying [just that there were dead babies coming out of me every month]. Every time I woke up with something new [what the fuck is this?!], I’d just flip through my book/bible {ah, let’s see. Chapter 6, article 7b. Oooooh. Hm. Well, then. So THAT’S what that is.} When I went from a size 0 to a size 7 in a matter of months [hello, birthing hips!], I understood it was the circle of life. When I finally got boobs…oh. wait. Still waiting on that one. [hrmph!] When random hair started growing in places that I was NOT happy about, I knew what to do. 

And when I started being curious about S-E-X, I learned [way more than I wanted to]. Even back then, the line drawings of male bodies kinda, sorta grossed me out. ESPECIALLY when they were drawn having sex, with all their anatomically-correct parts being all erect. [ew!] 

I read ALL ABOUT what sex entailed with boys. And I thanked my lucky stars I was only twelve and wouldn’t have to start doing that for a long, long time. Little did I know it would be NEVER. [muahahah! win!] I seriously even considered pulling the whole, “I’m waiting till marriage!” bullshit, just so I wouldn’t have to. 

::cough:: GAY ::cough::

Looking back, there were SO many signs of my impending lesbianism. And thankfully, that book gave me options [I LOVE options!] and covered homosexuality {as a completely viable route as far as sexual orientation went}.  

It was appreciated, especially down the line when my lady-parts were stirred by another lady. Not saying I rushed to dig out that old book at 18 years old when I first met Brittany, but not saying I didn’t, either.  

[side-note: I was thinking about one day writing a book to help girls when they realize they’re gay, or might be, or what are these feelings?! omg!, and to give them guidance and my advice for coming out. Your thoughts?]

Anyway, so that book got me through [most of] the awkward years [you’d think at 26 I’d be past that shit by now!] and help me blossom into the confident, body-aware, sexuality-aware, lesbian ugly-duckling-turned-vixen/still a huge nerd that you see before you today.

Speaking of! 

Vixenhood has been gloriousness lately.

[Man, that mirror is dirty!  I bet Consuela would tear that shit up with some Lemon Pledge.] 

Revolution has been wild, as usual. It was Tia Kadena’s birthday bash at Rev a couple weeks ago, and, as expected, it was filled with some serious wantonness with a pinch of utter indecency, a dash of depravity and a generous helping of lesbian merrymaking! 

I approve this message. 

And Frankie [a.k.a. Ana Mosity] and I keep showing up wearing the same thing. After years of working together, I guess it happens, but com’on now. 

In other news, I had my debut show as an official cast member of Big Bang Boom! Cabaret. That’s right, it’s Facebook official, which clearly means it’s legit. 

We had our “Iconic Women in History” show, and I called Joan of Arc [one history’s most famous “rumored” lesbonitas. Naturally]. 

I was super stoked to make my costume, and my boys were equally excited. 

But really, why do they not understand that my costume stuff, which looks EXACTLY like all their toys, are not toys?! Try sewing yards of fringe when your cats sneak attack you at your sewing machine and haul ass around the house, fringe flying from their furry little faces. It’s hard as fuck.

But I ended up finishing my costume:

And I found THE PERFECT SONG. I’d been looking forward to this show for a month now, and it was totally epic! 

All the girls KILLED IT. I was as excited to watch the other girls perform as I was to get on stage myself. And they did not disappoint. I wanted to make it rain for each and every one of them. Titillating! 

Spot the lesbian! 

Speaking of lesbian, funny story. So I’m the princess at Medieval Times, if you didn’t know that already. Hi. 

And we get lots of people coming to see the show from all around the world. Right now, we’re getting lots of groups on senior class trips. They’re always from like, Podunk, Iowa or from All White People, Indiana with only 20 kids total in their entire graduating class.

Anyway! A few days ago we had one such group come to the show. And there was a girl who was CLEARLY a lesbian. I thought to myself, “If I was from Podunk, Iowa, and I end up going to the big city of Orlando, and to Medieval Times, and the PRINCESS is a lesbian, it would make my life.” So I employed some tactics to convey to this lonely little lesbian that I, too, am a gay’mo. Extended eye contact when they came up to take pictures. A wink. Arm around her. Side smile. Etc. After the show, her group came up to get autographs, and I heard the little lesbian whispering to her friends, “No, I swear she is! I really think she is!” 

A random hot Russian chick [not from the high school] came up to take a picture with me, and after the picture, I made the sign of the cross, and little lesbian goes, “SEE!? SEE?!” 

And then, of course, she comes up to get an autograph and all her friends are watching, with baited breath. I totally start chatting her up, and she was all doe-eyed and gazing adoringly at me.

It was awesome.  hahahah

When I haven’t been on stages or in castles, breaking little lesbian hearts, I’ve been having sweet, sweet cuddle sessions with the only boys I’ll ever spoon: 

And visiting ancient tress and pretending I’m from Fern Gully: 

Oh, and I’ve been falling in love.  Unlooked for, unpredicted, and unexpected [but isn’t that the best?].  I was not anticipating meeting someone after my last relationship ended. I thought I was just going to spend my time working, hanging out with friends and cats, and maybe going on some dates here and there. Oh, and lots and lots of masturbation. 

But then I had coffee with a girl who is friends with some of my friends, and afterward I thought to myself, “Oh, shit. This could be trouble.”

You know, that really good kind of trouble where your hormones go crazy, your dopamine levels freak the fuck out, and you want to go buy all new underwear. 

Ahem.

I thought to myself, “Be careful, little lady…remember what happened last time??”

But then I thought, “But life is too short! Why not?! Why shouldn’t I take a risk again?”

But then I thought, “But what if things go to shit??”

And then I thought, “So what if things go to shit? That’s life! And maybe I’ll get some good sex out of it!”

And then I thought, “Hm. Good point.”

And then I thought, “I know, right? See where I’m coming from?”

And I thought, “Yeah, yeah. You’re making a good case for yourself. Life IS too short. Gotta take those reins and ride it.”

“Exactly!”

“And she treats you really well…and every time you hang out with her, things just get more and more awesome…”

“I know! That’s what I’m saying!”

“So…are we gonna go for it?”

“Let’s do this.”

“Hey, are we schizophrenic?” 

“It’s looking like maybe, yeah.”

But anyway! For better or for worse, what ended up happening was that I decided to go for it. 

So…wanna meet her??

Her name is Kiley.    

She’s a forensic underwriter data analyst. [smarty pants!]

And an artist. 

She’s wicked funny, has her shit together, and is totally adorable.

She’s a HUGE lesbian. [yeahhhhh, kind of a requirement for me now…] 

And clearly foxy as fuck.

And she has a cat, Lucifur!

She treats me extraordinarily well.

And makes me feel more like myself than anyone else has in a long, long time. 

You guys, I REALLY like her. 

 I’ll leave the U-haul and turkey baster for all you other crazy lezzies out there, because while I’m a romantic, I’m also a realist. But wherever this goes or does not go, I sure am enjoying every moment. Life is too short to waste time on “what if’s”. 

So, my loves…

I know I am!

Till next time! 

xx

2013- the year of rough beginnings but blissful endings. 

You guys, I’m not gonna lie - I was getting a little worried for a second there. I had such high hopes and lofty fantasies about what 2013 would be like, how I’d kick so much ass on my goals, and how I’d be off on unicorn adventures on a daily basis. But the first two months of 2013 were total dream crushers. 

I was legit getting concerned. I was not a happy girl, and that is SO not my jam. My natural state is a rainbow-riding, glitter princess of happiness and magic. I’m a romanticizing romantic. I’m a beam of ridiculous joy, thrilled with even the most mundane things in life. I’m like the Bob Ross of the lesbian world. 

Luckily, 2013 has decided to redeem itself, and I totally approve that message. 

It’s actually been pretty exciting - at the beginning of the year, I wrote down goals for myself, professionally and personally. {What a novel concept! Pretty sure I’m the only person EVER who resolved to do things differently for the new year. haha } And I was at a dead stop on all of them. It was like my entire life had been put on hold, and I was in this unhappy gridlock of stagnation.

But then 2013 was like, “JUST KIDDING! Ha. Ha. Got ya! I’m actually going to be awesome.”

And BAM! The Awesome Bomb detonated. 

First, I’ve been on a booking spree for my burlesque and go-go shows. I’m booked now through July, and I couldn’t be happier about where things are going with that. To be honest, that 19-year-old little lesbian hitting the stage for the first time EVER, dancing like a baby horse, all legs and arms, is still somewhere inside me and is still SHOCKED on a daily basis that I somehow ended up lucky enough to be able to do this for a living. I wake up [at noon haha] every day and just lay there, paralyzed with how amazing my life turned out. I get to hang out with drag queens and kings [true royalty], dance my little white girl whooty off, and perform all across the country. 

I’ve been to all my usual haunts, like my home bar and the gay club version of my soulmate, Revolution Nightclub in Orlando:

Where we CLEARLY have the most fun this side of the Mississippi. ;)

And I’ve hit up InCahoots in Jacksonville:

with some FABULOUS queens, like Mercedes Devereaux! 

And the longest-leading lady of Jax, Nichole Woods!

But I’ve also been performing with the GAWJEOUS gals of Big Bang Boom! Cabaret! [total swoon!]

And doing some nerdlesque with the All-Star Burlesque Revue:

[so much weave! >__<]

[homo-flexible]

Oh, and being SUPER artsy and shaking my tailfeathers [literally] at the Orlando Museum of Art:

Shocking old ladies & giving some old gents the time of their lives! (one lady exclaimed, “Oh, dear!” and left the show, while I was able to pull two old guys out of the audience, put my top hat and feather boa on them, and make them dance with me. Red garters on a dancing girl - now that’s what I call art!)

It’s been a fabulous show season, so far! And I have SO MUCH to look forward to. Like PENSACOLA PRIDE!

GIRLS IN WONDERLAND!

and BOSTON PRIDE!

And what’s even more amazing than getting to work for incredible events and kick ass parties is that I work with some wonderful people.

For example, after our burlyQ show at NV last Thursday, Franki and I went to Pom Pom’s Teahouse with some friends for some noms, love, and catch-up-kisses! [it was absolutely dreamy!]

And cupcakes happened, of course!

[Sad story about this cupcake: moments after this photo was taken, that cupcake fell on the floor. I spent the rest of the night crying.]

Speaking of wonderful people, I’ve been surrounded by a [totally adorable] gang of beautiful friends and family who really love me, and I can’t thank them enough for all the light they bring to my life. 

From sex bomb besties and boob attacks…

to sushi dinners with outstanding couples…

to pool [shark] dates with my forever darlin’…

to slumber parties with platonic life partners…

to hunting for treasures in antique wildernesses with an incomparable inamorata…

to my brother’s birthday lunch with my adorable and wonderful mama, my dashing stepdaddio, and my big bro and his bestie…

to being part of such an awesome group of friends that we are just exhausted by all our amazingness…

I am truly blessed. I work my ass off, love my heart out, and cuddle the shit out of my cats. It’s a damn good life, and I’m not wasting another moment. 

Here’s hoping 2013 is treating YOU right! 

So much love, babydolls…

xxxx

How are your resolutions going? I hope you’re kicking ass & taking names. ;)

2013 so far has been a roller coaster of epic proportions.

The start of a new year holds so much promise…but it’s also the perfect time to reevaluate things in your life. What are you happy with? What do you not like? What can you change? How are you going to go about changing things?

For me, the year started off with some huge moments of indecision and holy shit’s and what to do now’s and whoa’s and for real?!s and all kinds of other fluff.

I took a few days off[ish] to recenter myself and to connect with my totem animal [obviously, a unicorn] and I’m feeling recharged and sparkly once again! [And also, my friends came to the rescue big time, like the super heroes they are!]

Shake-ups in life can end up leading to eating your weight in ice cream and never leaving your bed OR it can lead to amazing restructuring and massive tweaks to life that make it twelve thousand times more beautiful. [the key is to CHOOSE the latter.]

So that’s what I’m doing! And it’s working out splendidly. :) Plus, I got my planner refills…phew!

Ahhh, all is right in the world again!

Now, want a peek into what fills up that agenda?

Well, let’s see…there’s been hot yoga with Mollie:

Taking long walks [glorious weather!], drinking tea & writing at Starbucks, and listening to audio books. ::cough:: NERD ::cough::

Princessing: [and if you’ll notice in the above photo, that damn pinky-up! The princess never leaves me!]

Go-go dancing with crazy lion hair [rawr] {& playing laser tag - pew!pew!}:

{Thanks, Maia, for capturing me & my shenanigans!! [and also, for letting me do laundry at your house. Not having a washer & dryer sucks, especially when you have two separate wardrobes for yourself & your alter ego. ;)}

But I have wonderful friends who save me from laundromats!]

[Isn’t she adorable?! {& single, ladies!}]

So in addition to laundry, I’ve been traveling and doing TONS of shows.

Like in Jacksonville at InCahoots, where I got made fun of by drag queens for my awesome lesbian shirt [cats + boobs!]:

And performed for the masses of ‘mos & ‘bos:

Saturday I had a teaser show at NV for our upcoming February 7th Les Vixens debut:

It was a blast!

After the teaser show, I ran to Revolution for another show!!

And to go-go all night long. Saturday nights are the jam! [and it’s where all the girls go. ;)]

Sunday, all my agenda said was:

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS & ISLANDS OF ADVENTURE
WITH JORDAN, KACEE, & THE BUNNY!!!

Which was exactly what happened and it was magical. :) {Plus I got Dip ‘n Dots! NOM!} [Thanks again, Shay, for the tickets!]

So from shake-ups to showtimes, 2013 has been a [sometimes literal] roller coaster. Good thing I really love roller coasters! ;)

Hope your 2013 has been smooth sailing, sweethearts!

::crosses Write Blog Post off my To-Do list in my planner::

::feels productive::

::goes back to watching a Dexter marathon & eating dark chocolate::

xx

You guys, you guys, you guys!!!! I’m SO excited!

Okay, check it. So one of my goals for 2013 was to book more shows and more venues, especially to be able to do more classic, high-glamour burlesque shows. At Rev, we have to keep it modern and neo-burlesque, high-energy and the right fit for a club atmosphere. You can’t throw down some slow, sexy, silky bump ‘n grind at midnight in the middle of a packed house at a club. It just doesn’t work and it messes with the vibe of the night. So we have to tailor our numbers to fit that kind of energy.

But I have been wanting to bust out my high glam numbers, the ones during which I wear floor-length sequined gowns and have feathers in my hair and everything sparkles. I want to shimmy and shake and drip slow like honey. I want to be able to do the kind of numbers that tease like crazy and bring on the dazzle.

The key was finding the right venue, one where just a simple show, without go-go dancing, would be on the menu. And I’ve had my eye on a particular venue downtown for a while now.

Allow me to introduce you to NV Art Bar.

This skinny little venue features three floors of old-school lounge style, exposed brick, totally gorgeous intimate space. The third floor [not picture] and roof area are a [newly opened] speakeasy, while the bottom two floors are an art gallery/lounge/bar. LE SIGH!

And you guys! [yep, you probably already guessed it but…] It is officially confirmed: NV ART BAR is now home to Les Vixens Burlesque the first Thursday of EVERY MONTH!

::commence intense happy dancing that may or may not involve running around my house, naked as a jay bird, freaking out my cats::

Our opening night will be February 7th. Three burlesqueteers performing each night. We will do two shows, one at 10 p.m. and the second at 11 p.m. The first show at 10 will be in the speakeasy on the third floor, and will feature our more classic, ritzy-glitzy bump ‘n grind numbers. The 11 p.m. show will be on the first and second floors, up and down that gorgeous staircase, and we’ll kick it a bit more edgy in that set. [Still glam, but rockin’ that newfangled music the kids are listening to these days.]

Okay, now that we’ve all died from the excitement and then were reincarnated as ourselves (but slightly better!), let’s just say I’m very, very excited. 2013 - you may not have started off in the best way for a lot of people (me included), but you’re starting to redeem yourself here. :)

So if you’re in the area on the first Thursday of every month, swing by and grab a drink, watch the show, and remember that I ran around my house naked because of this moment you are now experiencing. ;)

xx

p.s. I’m going to be having another round of auditions coming up in February. I’m also looking to hire a stage kitten. A stage kitten is a gal who might not be ready to do a full-on show yet, but who loves the atmosphere, the style of burlesque, and wants to learn the ropes. She’d help us backstage, and also help collect our drag droppings ;) after our performances. My bestie Mollie suggested that I just simply train an actual kitten to do the job, but A.) kittens + feather boas = attack mode. and B.) the kitten would end up stealing the show, obviously. Or would distract ME too much to even do a show.

[OMGGGG IT’S WITTLE BABY FENTON!]

See? This post script should have ended by now, but nope, I’m still talking about cats.

So yeah! I need a human stage kitten. Just an FYI, if you’re interested. ;)

Bye!

After Mollie & Ryan’s wedding, shows, and my family reunion, the Bunny and I were ready for our holiday getaway!

Just the two of us, the open road, and planned spontaneity! <the only way to do it.

SO EXCITED!!!!

We drove to our first stop: Savannah, Georgia.

We were supposed to land in Savannah with enough time to grab sushi with Mary Contrary, one of my fellow entertainers [and a total doll], but because we never get anywhere on time, we ended up arriving in Savannah long past the point where our rendezvous of sushi noms was possible. The sushi joint was closed, and after I stopped crying, the Bunny & I decided we’d have dinner with Mary the following night.

So we went to our fancy schmancy hotel (ooh, lala!) and ended up grabbing some pizza [something I NEVER do..but dammit, I’m on vacation!] at Vinnie Go Go’s, a well-known, semi-hipster pizza place open late enough for night owls. We brought pizza back to our hotel room and gorged ourselves like a sorority girl eating her feelings after a breakup. Nom!

[of course, I also got a salad…even though I’m dating the Bunny, I’m the one who eats like a rabbit. ;)]

We passed out in our king-size bed, which meant the Bunny finally had enough space to sleep. ;)

The next day we had our big day of exploration! Savannah, as it appears, is romantic and beautiful…as long as you stay in the historic downtown district. The rest of Savannah looks like just normal suburban and ghetto life. So, naturally, the Bunny & I stayed in the glorious, notorious historic district. We started by the river, strolling down the famous River Walk and stopping to get lunch on the water.

[I like to gaze adoringly at the Bunny. Or at the sweet potato fries coming our way. Probably both.]

It was quaint and adorable, just like the rest of downtown Savannah, and the food was delicious. 

Cobblestones! I love it!

Super old forts with super hero bunnies going up super steep stairs!

Hey, trees that actually change color when the seasons change! Imagine that.

We wandered up and down all the streets, hitting square after square [Savannah is built around 24 squares, which are like mini-parks. I love trees, so naturally every time we walked a few blocks and found ourselves at another square, I felt the need to tell the Bunny how much I liked this square! Or that square! Or look how cute is this square! Oh, look at this square! (I think it got old fast…haha)]

We stopped at a tea room [actually, it’s called The Tea Room hah] and the old broad who worked there knew more about tea than I know about glitter. [And she was a sassy old lady, so now I know who I want to be when I grow up.] The whole place was adorable, and smelled amazing, with wall-to-wall tea canisters. Heaven!

[the Bunny, posing awkwardly because I made her.]

And naturally, the tea was bangin’!

We continued our voyage, tea in hand, and fell more and more in love with the gorgeous historic homes, beautiful holiday decorations, and me with the squares. ;)

After dark, we made our way to meet Mary for our long-delayed sushi date! We went to her favorite place, Wassabi, and it was worth the wait. ;) Plus, the company was absolutely lovely! It’s so nice to hang out with entertainers who I actually like outside of work. And Mary definitely fits that bill!

After dinner, it was time for something I’ve wanted to do for a long time: a ghost tour!

Savannah is listed as the most haunted city in America. We booked our tour with Sixth Sense Savannah [which is REALLY hard to say when you have a lisp…which is why the Bunny made me say the name like, 10 times. Jerk. ;)]. But although it’s a problem for those with a speech impediment, the tour itself was AWESOME. Christopher, our guide, was an adorable [& gay!] guy who really knew his shit, and skeptics & believers both really got into it.

It was a two hour walking tour, and we ended up pretty much taking the same route the Bunny and I took earlier around the city. Which meant we walked past houses that earlier in the day we had gazed at in wonder, and now learned the horrific stories about murders, suspicious deaths, and all the paranormal activity that happened in each house.

Including an abandoned mental institution.

The stories were so good and so creepy and mixed the paranormal seamlessly with historical information. Which, as the resident nerd of this blog, I am a sucker for. ;)

Unfortunately, we didn’t end up seeing any apparitions or ghosts. I say unfortunately for me; however, the Bunny was glad. She pretends to be a badass but turns out, she gets scared of a little ol’ abandoned insane asylum where there are consistent sightings of the White Lady in the windows and where people end up getting injured from violent spirits if they enter. Psh. Scardey-cat. ;)

The next morning we went to the Sentient Bean, a coffee shop Mary recommended.

Blurry love!

The Sentient Bean was perfect for breakfast and had damn good chai lattes!

[and chalkboard walls in the bathroom where the Bunny left a little love note. ;) swoon!]

After our breakfast and tea, we got on the road for our next chapter in our holiday adventures: Atlanta!

We arrived at our hotel [more of a motel this time around, but sometimes we like it when it’s cheap. ;) Like Motel 301!]

We got dolled up…

…and went out for a fancy dinner!

The food was SO GOOD, you guys. Like, Food Network Top Chef good.

And then, because the Bunny said it was our anniversary or something like that [it wasn’t] ;) we got a free dessert of our choice, which ended up being a chocolatey cake made in the kitchen of the gods that was pure sex for taste buds. Pure sex, I tell you!

I’m telling you, as soon as I tried the cake I said, “Oh dear baby Jesus this shit is GOOD!”

It was THAT good. Plus the service was fabulous. Tantra- now THAT’S how you do a fancy dinner. ;)

Next up was something I’ve been waiting for for YEARS: going to see Rachael Yamagata live! You don’t even understand…I’ve wanted to see her play for so so so long. She’s been one of my favorite artists for the longest time, and seeing her live was on my bucket list. The Bunny, being the amazing girl that she is, tried to send me to see her play last year in Portland, which would kill two birds with one stone as I’d also get to see my dad, too! Yay!

Unfortunately, the Bunny is foreign and didn’t realize that there is more than one Portland in the U.S., and good ol’ Rach was playing in Portland, Maine. hahah [The Bun still sent me to go see my dad, which I wrote about HERE. ]

Anyway, so this was the culmination of years of me waiting and wanting, and at least a year of the Bunny trying to get me to see her, so this was going to be EPIC.

The show was at the Vinyl in Atlanta, which is a small, intimate, and absolutely perfect venue. 

Ughhhhh she was sooooooooooo gooooooooooooooooooood. THAT VOICE! It’s just so rich and utterly soulful. And Rachael herself is hilarious. She made fun of the fact that none of her music is happy, and that it’s all about heart ache. But her tragic music is in total contrast to her stage persona, which is hysterical and self-deprecating and humble and completely charming.

And I got to meet the lovely lady! [even though the Bunny can’t take a picture to save her life. ;) It’s okay, she’s got other qualities I’m totes into…]

The show was epic, and well-worth the wait, especially because the venue was so perfect and small. Happy Evey!!

The next morning, I had no idea what the day held. It was the Super Surprise Day of the holiday, and the Bunny had kept this portion of the trip a secret (that she was obviously really excited about and very proud of herself for keeping it a secret!). I was told to dress comfy [which, of course, I freaked out about - “Are we talking, yoga comfortable? or like, lounge around the house comfy? or like, The Gap comfy? WHAT DO YOU MEAN DRESS COMFORTABLE?!”] - but I finally sorted out the right outfit, and we hit the road.

I don’t think I’ve ever loved road trips as much as I do with the Bunny. Good music, Starbucks (she knows we don’t go anywhere without me getting my tea!), and her hand in mine…it’s the perfect way to road trip! I didn’t even care that I had no idea where we were going - it’s part of being in the moment. The gorgeous scenery alone was enough to keep me entertained.

After several hours of driving, we appeared to be in the middle-of-nowhere in northern Georgia, and if the area hadn’t been so epically beautiful, I probably would have been thinking horror film thoughts. Instead, we were winding our way through little mountain towns and finally turned off and up a mountain.

We pulled up in front of the most adorable little cabin in the history of ever!!!

The Bunny had spent the past few months arranging this getaway with the owner for our little holiday. The cabin was perfect: a hot tub on the back deck, a fireplace, and every detail was cozy and adorable.

After I stopped running around the cabin, squealing like a little girl at how ::high-pitched:: CUTE!! it was, the Bunny and I drove into the quaint (naturally) little town, and ended up at the Sweet Shoppe Bakery, the Food Network Cupcake Wars Season 6 Winners!

We ended up buying TWELVE cupcakes. Because life is awesome.

Oh, no big deal. Just eating cupcakes by the fire in our cabin on a mountain side. [Like I said, life is awesome!]

Oh, decadence!

After our cupcake indulgence, we ventured outside [in the FREEZING cold] to get in the hot tub! It was glorious. :)

And as IF a cabin on a mountain side, with a fireplace, and a hot tub, and a gorgeous crystal clear northern Georgia winter night wasn’t enough, THERE WAS A GOD DAMNED METEOR SHOWER! Shooting stars all over the place! Somehow, I feel like the Bunny planned that. ;) At the very least, she had one more surprise: she brought sky lanterns. You know, the kind that you light and then let go and they float effortlessly into the sky and then, I dunno, they become stars or something [or just burn out and then hopefully biodegrade in an environmentally friendly manner].

So amidst hundreds of shooting stars, we wrote wishes on our lanterns, lit them, and let them go.

The Bunny didn’t wait long enough [you have to let the lantern fill up first], so hers landed on the roof of the cabin. Which I then pictured the entire roof bursting into flames, and our lives being ruined. But then it picked up again and floated…directly into a tree! Which I then pictured the tree bursting into flames and Smokey the Bear coming after us.

But then, thank baby bears, it floated on up to the sky, and no joke, a freaking shooting star flew straight behind it. MAGICAL!

The whole night was magical, really. Cozy cabin + cold winter night + fireplace + shooting stars = sexy time! [What else? ;) ]

The next morning we got up [late] and went on a hike to see some waterfalls. And it was incredibly gorgeous!

The Bunny fell in the water. hahahahah I actually felt really bad, but, as always, she’s a great sport about things. ;) And let me take pictures of her dumping water out of her boots.

Captain Bunny!

Limbo!

It was the perfect way to end the trip and our holiday getaway! Now we had to hit the road down south to Jacksonville because I had a show with my Vixens at the Norm. [no rest for the wicked!] 8 hours on the road and straight onto the stage!

After the show, the Bunny & I stayed the night with our dear friends, Jordan & Kacee. Jordan even got up at the ass-crack of dawn to cook us breakfast [d’awww!] because I had to be back in Orlando by 11 a.m. on Saturday for a music video shoot! [Like I said, no rest for the wicked!]

It was an awesome time! But it was an awesomely loooong time. We were there all day, and then I had to get my [slightly, you know, just a little teeny bit] exhausted bum to Revolution!

As always, it was crazy town. :) I love Rev!

The next day [sleep? huh? what’s that?] was my sister Vixen’s benefit show to help her get to Chicago, where she booked an epic burlesque tour, which was one of her biggest dreams in life! So, of course, I drove to St. Pete to be part of the incredible cast of entertainers who raised more than $500 for her! RAD!

Love her!

And I was asked by the organizer of the event, along with Franki’s husband, to say a few words about the lady of honor. Which was an honor itself. :)

And for my number, I made a song mix that started with the theme song from Jem & the Holograms [Franki has an entire tattoo sleeve on her arm of Jem & the Holograms!], and then included several inside joke songs between me and Franki, and ended with one of her classic numbers that I included as a tribute. It was really fun [and the gay boys went crazy!]

Plus, I got to hang out with Teddy D, my darling boy!

It was a fabulousocity-filled benefit, and Franki is off in Chicago, kicking ass & taking names! [but she’ll be home before I know it, thank baby Jesus!]

And my goodness, we made it to the last week the Mayans ever thought would happen! I spent our possible last week on earth princessing [+ drinking tea]…

…hanging out with the newly-married Mollie!

Taking long walks [& long talks] with the Bunny….

Cuddling kitties…

And go-go dancing!

We survived the silly Mayan misinterpretation, and made it to Christmas!

And guess what? The Bunny and I made it to my mom’s ON TIME on Christmas Day. It was a Christmas miracle!

We spent the day with my mom, my stepdad, my brother, and of course, Hey Kitty. :)

(^ that’s her special Christmas blanket. It only comes out during the holidays, and it’s where you can find the Kitty pretty much 90% of her life during Christmastime.)

The tree was BEAUTIFUL! [my mom and stepdad always make the entire house really FEEL like Christmas, even if it’s 80 degrees outside.]

And there were so many presents under the tree that I was suspicious that some were just empty boxes wrapped to make the place look extra fancy. [but nope! A gift in every box!]

Holy shit, right?!

And let’s not even forget the AMAZING Paleo feast my mom made!

It was really, really incredible. I feel beyond blessed and grateful for such an amazing family and I feel like my life is charmed in so many ways. As gay as it sounds, I feel like my life is magical. I mean, just LOOK at that food! :D

We ate, gave and received gifts, talked a lot, ate some more, and watched Ice Age! :) It was perfect.

The next day, the Bunny and I went to Blue Springs State Park to hike and spend some time with manatees.

Pine cone!

The following day, we felt really springy. So we went to Rebounderz!

It’s an indoor trampoline arena and it. was. AWESOME! I highly recommend it. Oh, go on! Be a kid again. ;) Go-go dancing at Rev that night, I felt a bit wobbly. Jumping is a killer workout!

Friday I was back on the road to Jacksonville for my show (just me and some drag queens!) at InCahoots!

I always have such a good time at InCahoots…it was wall-to-wall packed, just the way I like it, and I got to see a lot of familiar faces…and ride around on a unicorn. ;)

Saturday it was the last Les Vixen show of 2012, so I figured I’d wear some snazzy new pants. ;)

Oh, 2012! You were EPIC!

But it’s not over yet! We still have New Year’s Eve…

I rang in the New Year at a fancy red carpet event, with tickets ranging from $100-200 just to get in to the fancy schmanciness. No big deal. ;)

I was hired as a go-go dancer [for my “energy and eye candy appeal”! lol It’s always nice when I get paid AND complimented!], along with the incredible Lyn Sky, a lovely aerialist and several stilt walkers. We all got body painted…

[which I promptly sweated off…]

This is me, Astryd [of Tommy Astryd productions], and Lyn Sky!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

While balloons were falling and the ball was dropping, the Bunny drove all the way out to the event just to kiss me at midnight. SWOON!

And that, ladies & gentlemen, was the end of 2012 for me. PERFECTION!

Next up: 2013!

I hope you all had a safe & wonderful holiday, and thanks for sticking with me into the new year!

xoxoxoxoxox

And Jesus had his birthday!

And I’ve been on adventures!

And I really need to get back to writing in my blog!! Sorry for the radio silence…

But basically I’ve been wondering: Is this real life??

It hit me hard again that I have a really, really strange and wonderful life. Sometimes I am so IN IT & working so hard that I forget to stop and reflect on how ridiculously COOL life is [and I run out of time to blog! eek!]. My 40 hours a week of work is never 9-5 [thank baby unicorns!], I never see a cubicle, and at any moment I can get tea with my friends, cuddle my cats, or write in my blog [heh]. I can go wander around, help out friends, and just generally live a life worth writing about.

Let’s chat about December! Okay, too much happened for one blog post so I’m going to start with the first half of the last month of 2012, because what happened next deserves its own moment to shine here. ;)

So reverse, rewind, and meet me on the last day of November. I drove to St. Pete with my Vixen Veronica for a gig with Gulf Coast Giving and CirqueVille Entertainment. Gulf Coast Giving is an amazing charitable organization and their recipient this year was Habitat for Humanity. They threw an art auction/Winter Wonderland party at Nova 535 [an utterly GORGEOUS venue/art space], and we got hired to be living statues[slash] go-go dancers! Along with stilt walkers, acrobats, and a phenomenal juggler, this event was all kinds of awesome!

^ The statues!

In [non] action. heh

Luckily for me, standing still as a statue was WAY easier when I got to watch these guys say “Fuck you, Gravity!” and do their epic, physics-defying moves!

And watch this gorgeous Russian lady kick some serious ass juggling…she makes it look epic AND easy, all at the same time. [ignore the dude in the background…]

Oh, and this was my boss. ;) Stilt walker Snow Queen!

The whole event was a blasty-blast. It’s always fun to get booked for something out of the norm, especially an easy, awesome event that introduces me to rad people and talented artists. You know, no big deal. ;)

And that welcomed me into December! The Bunny and I decorated our little Christmas tree, hung our stockings and wreath, and I did everything in my power to make the Bunny’s first Christmas in the States seem a little more Christmas-y. I mean, it’s hard to do when you live in Florida, but I tried!

Then I packed up and headed off to Rev for the best night of the week!

Sunday the Bunny & I were celebrating my mom and stepdad’s birthdays. Super late. Their b-days were at the beginning of November, but when we tried to plan for a party day closer to their actual birthdays, my mom was like, “Shmehhh…” haha So December it was!

My mom and steppapa are on the Paleo diet [as you may know from reading this blog], and so I said we would cook them a Paleo feast!

By which I meant, the Bunny would slave away in the kitchen all day, because…

I’m terrible in the kitchen.

But she made this ridiculously delicious Asian spaghetti squash yumminess of Please-Make-For-My-Birthday good dish, and a dark chocolate & orange chocolate torte {birthday} cake.

My mom, stepdad and big brother came over to our house, and it was a jolly good time! We ate, my mom opened her present [that she pretended to be surprised about, but she totes knew what I got her already…thanks for the effort, though, mom!], and then we surprised them with their birthday cake of divinity. [it was THAT good.]

Oh, and then Banksy climbed into my mom’s purse. And started removing items to make room for himself. Like a boss.

hahahaha my cat is awkward.

That night I worked more on the dessert toppers for Mollie & Ryan’s wedding!! At this point, it was less than a week away and my excitement for the wedding of the century was off the charts! So much so, that I handmade 75 dessert toppers, each and every one different and crafted with love! I even used my sewing machine on some of them. It took (way) more time than just this one night to get them all done, but it was so worth it! DIY for the win!

At Medieval, they changed the times when we open the gates and guests are allowed to cross over the moat, so not only am I super on time now for princessing [which is UNHEARD OF in the entire realm], but I feel like I’m super early. It’s kind of creeping me out. I just end up playing around with makeup for the extra 45 minutes and then look like an 11th century drag queen.

Hey, that’s my bra!

Anywayyyy…

In addition to scaring children, I got hired to do some figure modeling [like I do for Mystery Sketch Theater & Dr. Sketchy’s] for some artists at Universal Studios! So…it was back to standing still as a statue. Oh, December. The month of no moving [and never stopping moving]. haha

I didn’t get any pictures from it because we did the session in their art studio on location at Universal, and there were proprietary drawings and sketches all over the walls. Pretty neat stuff! And the artists really liked the costumes I brought, which is a huge compliment coming from artists who work on a theme park studio set filled with costumed characters. :)

Then Friday morning I got up at the ass-crack of dawn [like, 10 o’clock you guys. It was rough.] to drive out to the venue for the wedding rehearsal! Mollie & Ryan asked me to do a reading in their ceremony, which made me feel like a million bucks. And also made me super nervous because I have a little lisp…public speaking! Woo!

But the rehearsal was lovely! Dave the King from Medieval is also an officiant and can totes marry peeps, so my wedding gift to the couple was Dave. haha [[Funny story: When Mollie & Ryan first started planning their wedding, I recommended Dave marry them.

Mollie, knowing that Dave works at Medieval Times with me, thought I was trying to convince her to do a Medieval-themed wedding.

Months later, they were still having trouble finding the right officiant, and I brought up Dave again. Only THEN did Mollie ask me if he does things non-11th century.

Oh, Mollie.

Luckily, we sorted things out and Dave ended up being the most perfect person for the job! And I loved being able to hang out with him during the rehearsal and rehearsal lunch. :) The rehearsal went off without a hitch, and I got a sneak peek at the venue…You guys, I was more excited for this wedding to happen than this guy:

Oh, and in the midst of working at Medieval, being a figure model, making DIY stuff, writing and catching up on deadlines, preparing for Mollie’s wedding, doing shows AND packing/preparing for a mini-vacation with the Bunny that was to happen at the beginning of the next week, my family decided to have a family reunion. THE SAME WEEKEND. Oh, lordy!

So I raced from the rehearsal [an hour away from home] to where my dad and stepmom were staying [45 minutes past home] to get to see them for a few minutes before I had to hop back on the road to drive to Jacksonville for a show. WHEW!

[But totally worth it!]

Then it was off to Jacksonville with Spikey van Dykey & Mary Contrary from Savannah to put on a show at the Metro!

The Metro was the very first place I EVER performed all those years ago when I first started burlesque. I used to do shows there semi-regularly after I started performing, but I haven’t been back in a few years. It was definitely a blast from the past, especially because NOTHING has changed [not even the guy who directs traffic in the parking lot].

It was good to be back. :)

And then the next day was omg omg omg omg omg THE BIG DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This small Asian child knows NOTHING of the excitement that was felt for this day and this wedding. NOTHING!

It was, in fact, the most magic-filled, wonder-filled, PERFECT MOMENT-FILLED day of LOVE AND SPARKLES AND UNICORNS EARNING THEIR WINGS in the history of EVER!!

The wedding was straight out of a fairytale movie scene, with the added benefit of being between two people utterly meant for each other, and with half the guests (and the bride!) being my best friends. ;) HOORAY!

It was literary-themed, which was spot on: Mollie is a librarian (and just got her Masters Degree in Library Sciences! Get it, girl!) and Ryan is a textbook editor. MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN.

I’m warning you now: the pictures that follow (which aren’t the profesh ones, anyway) don’t do this wedding justice in any way, shape, or form. But at least it will give you a glimpse into how wonderful the day truly was!

The venue was Birdsong Barn, and it couldn’t have been more perfect. Same with the weather, the decorations, the music, and the bride & groom, of course!

Look at Dave, looking so handsome!

Ayla. the three-year-old daughter of the best man, was the ring bearer. :)

And Ariana, Mollie’s two-year-old niece, was the flower girl. [I was the back-up flower girl. hah] She ended up just running down the aisle, and then dumping her basket of petals at the alter. Not bad, Ariana. Not bad at all. ;)

Aaaaaaaaand THIS was the moment I started bawling like a frickin’ baby.

SHE LOOKED LIKE A GODDESS OF EVERYTHING WONDERFUL!

I kept telling myself, “Pull yourself together, woman! You have to do your reading!” Luckily, during my reading I didn’t cry(ish). And then I got back to my seat, and they started doing their vows, and I started sobbing again because EVERY WORD WAS INCREDIBLE.

YAY THEY’RE HITCHED!

Now it was time for the reception!

[The Bunny & I made the M and R bookends for Mollie’s bridal shower, and they used them in the wedding decorations!!! SWOON!]

The food was THE JAM.

It was THE BEST WEDDING in the history of weddings. I got to dance and hang out with my best friends, be part of the insanely beautiful ceremony, the food was AMAZING, and absolutely every moment was magical. Oh, and I CAUGHT THE BOUQUET! [yes, I may have knocked out my friend in the process…]

CONGRATULATIONS to the couple of the century!

After the best party of my life, I hit the road back to Orlando, just in time to make it to Revolution for our Old School party!

Good times. :) ‘eyyyy

And on Sunday, my reunion with my family continued! It was on my stepmama’s side: Her four kids, plus me & my brother, and 4 out of her 7 grandkids. And my dad, of course! It was the FIRST time she’s had this many members of her immediate family together, and it was a wonderful time! [and check out my dad’s bolo tie! Classic. ;)]

After some much-needed and absolutely wonderful family time, I headed home to start packing for my vacation!

Fenton wanted to come, but the Bunny and I were going places kitties can’t go…like Georgia. ;)

But this post is long enough! This was my first half of December; stay tuned for Pt. 2!

I hope your December has been lovely!

xx

What more could a girl ask for, really?

I know this happens to pretty much every single person when the weather turns, but dear baby Jesus! I want to cuddle, drink tea, take long walks, go camping, sit & sew, wear comfy sweaters and scarves, and OMG I can go outside without the sun trying to burn my skin off and humidity trying to make me sweat my life away.

Glorious!

But in other news, so much awesome was packed into the last few weeks of October. Take a journey with me, lovers, back in time to a not-so-distant past…

First, we kicked off the good times with a private event near the beginning of the month. A private, Star Wars themed event. Yes, it was as awesome as it sounded and I couldn’t believe how lucky I am that part of my job description includes Nerdy Burlesque shows. I don’t normally do private events, but I made the exception because A.) it involved good friends whom I trust completely, and B.) Star Wars!

Yes, that meant I got to bust out my burlesque Ewok again…

Life is rad.

After the private event, I ran my little tush on over to Revolution for a bit of a boogie. [I love double-booking days! Show after show after show, yes please!]

And the week marched on. Friday is usually the last day of the work week for most people, but for me, it’s somewhere in the middle. So I filled it with attempts at being a grown-up: paying bills, doing some writing, getting my life organized. But then it was time to pack up again, grab some pretty ladies, and hit the road to Jacksonville and the Norm!

Annnnd home again at 4 a.m. One day I will be a morning person, but that’s only after this night owl retires. ;)

Rev on that Saturday was really fun because it was my dear friend Kacee’s bachelor party. Jordan and Kacee are getting married (and, in fact, DID get married! And you can read all about it in just a few minutes…) and while her beautiful bride has maneuvered most of the wedding details and shenanigans, Kacee had two requests about which she would not budge: One, that she get to wear Converse in the wedding. And two, that she gets to have her bachelor party at Rev, and Jordan has to have her bachelorette party elsewhere. 

Because Kacee actually fought for her right to party, I knew I had to bring it. The pressure was on me to make sure she had a bachelor party she’d never forget! [I think mission accomplished. ;)]

I made a Marilyn Manson mix and got some hot wax ready, and prepared for an evening that was sure to be on the raunchy side of naughty.

So their night started like this:

And then they made it to Rev, where a bit of this happened:

That’s Kacee in the chair, there, by the way. [And the thing is…Kacee & Jordan both like performers who are a bit darker. I’m a fuckin’ cupcake, so it’s really strange that they love me so much as an entertainer. But I think Kacee put it best: “You are all cupcakey, but then you’ll give a look that a Succubus would be proud of…so it’s a good mix.”] Sometimes I can bust out something more dark, and this was definitely the night to do it. ;)

All this, plus some hot wax, and followed up by a good whipping! [I had permission from the bride to whip Kacee as hard as I wanted to…yikes!] <But we have learned at Rev that femme girls can always take a good whipping, while butch girls tend to be…well, pussys about it. But Kacee ended up beating [heh no pun intended] the butch record of 32 spankings! What a trooper! [yes, she still had the bruises on her wedding day. dang.] I also had the pleasure of giving her grooms(wo)man, Arika, a bit of the same treatment. They LOVED it!

Yes, that would be an icepack between them. ;) Trust me, they loved it! Or at least that’s the story I heard…

Anyway, moving on to the cupcakey things I was up to in October!

Such as being a princess and sipping on tea [sometimes at the very same time!]. :)

And taking long strolls with the Bunny to art galleries where I discover massive photos hanging of me and my Vixens. [neat!]

And doing lots of writing, even with kitties falling asleep on my arm.

And preparing for my bestie Mollie’s bachelerotte weekend!

We have been keeping the B-Party a secret from Mollie FOR MONTHS. Her Maid of Honor sent us a general idea of what she was thinking, and asked for suggestions on filling in the gaps:

Friday night: Slumber Party/Potluck/Crafty Time/Movie Night at the MOH’s parents’ place in Bradenton. Because we’re THAT kind of Bachelorette Party, not the other kind. ;)

Saturday: Brewery tour of Mollie’s favorite brewery. Dinner in Ybor, and then dancey-dance it up somewhere in Ybor that night. Hotel stay that night.

Sunday: Drag Queen Brunch at Hamburger Mary’s.

It all sounded fantastic, especially because the guest list included many of my best friends in the entire world, and also because Mollie is amazing and no matter what we were going to do, it was going to be awesome! I made sure I had Rev covered so I could take the weekend off, and got ready for an extraordinarily good time.

Anyway, pause. rewind. reverse. back it up to Mollie’s bridal shower a few weeks before. At this point, Mollie still didn’t have any idea what we were planning for her B-Party. All she knew was that midget strippers would NOT be included. The MOH and those of us in on the bachelorette conspiracy planning had a few moments to chat during the bridal shower, away from the bride-to-be, and we still weren’t sure about where we’d be staying or where we’d be going to dance on Saturday night. But we weren’t worried; things like that usually work themselves out. [foreshadowing!]

Anyway, I checked my email from my phone when I was at the bridal shower and BAM, there was an email from the Ritz in Ybor, a massive concert venue. They were hosting a Zombie Prom on the EXACT Saturday of our B-Party…

They said they knew I was probably already booked, but they would love to have me go-go dance for their Zombie Prom if I was available. Now, Mollie had JUST been saying how she wanted to be a zombie bride for Halloween…so I started getting really excited. Even if I didn’t work this event, it still sounded like I had discovered our dancey-dance place for the night!

I ended up writing them back, because I was, in fact, not booked on that Saturday (for the first time ever), and needed some more deets before I could commit. For example, would I be able to go-go in sets, so I could hang out with my besties? Would I have a guest list for the bachelorette party girls? What’s the pay? Blah, blah, etc.

Here’s what they came back with:

• I get to take as many breaks as I want.
• The entire party will be on the guest list.
• I’ll get a FREE hotel room + a second hotel room at a suuuuper discounted rate for me AND the bachelorette party at the Hilton in downtown Ybor (!!!). 
• I’ll get a reallyyyy good base pay.

I talked to the MOH and she said, “Omg, that’s PERFECT!”

What seredipity!

So I booked myself, and now not only was I no longer missing out on a weekend pay, I cut costs for the entire bachelorette party for our hotel stay and club cover, and gave the ladies a wicked fun party to attend!

Hooray!

Flash forward to Friday night of the bachelorette party. I road tripped down to Bradenton with my bestie, the Ninja, and it was the loveliest ride. We drank tea and hot chocolate, talked about the paranormal, and FINALLY got to the point where we were no longer catching up and now just hanging out. So wonderful!

We made it to the rest of the ladies, and spent the night eating, wearing face masks, watching movies, ripping up old prom dresses, spraying blood everywhere, and getting ready to attend our prom!

The next day we hit up Tace Bus in Tampa for lunch, and then went on the brewery tour at Cigar City Brewery. I don’t drink and I especially don’t like beer, but I do like history, tours, and learning new things. ::nerd:: So even the girl who has never had a drink had a good time!

We checked in to our hotel, put a few finishing touches on costumes, enjoyed a LOVELY dinner, and then became undead party people!

So. Much. FUN!

After the prom, the ladies went to grab some grub after hitting up a few more dancey-dance parties, and I went back to the hotel to get my makeup off and to get into some jammy-jams. I needed a bit of sleep, because in the morning, I was off again!

The Ninja and I road-tripped it back to Orlando, and after depositing her at a secret location, I high-tailed it to UCF to pick up the Bunny. She just finished playing a soccer football match, and we had to haul ass from UCF to Jacksonville for my dear friends, Kacee (the bachelor from earlier in this post) & Jordan’s wedding. From a bachelerotte party for my bestie right up to a wedding of two besties! What a weekend!

We made it in time (in fact, early! what, what?! That’s unheard of!), and the moment we walked in the venue we ran into Kacee and her grooms(wo)man, Arika. The four of us escaped to the bathroom so we could get away from the crowds of people. Kacee said something along the lines of, “I’m excited with a side of I might puke.” haha!

(But look how hot she looked!)

Then I got to go see the beautiful bride before the ceremony and…

Holy baby Elvis, she looked BEAUTIFUL! 

I told her she looked like how she probably has always hoped she’d look on her wedding day. Perfection.

On the way there, the Bunny asked if I was going to cry. I replied, “Psh, kuh huh fuh..no. Obviously not.” I didn’t even bring tissues, I was so confident in my stone-cold heart.

But you guys…I am one sappy sonuvagun these days. During the ceremony I ruined my makeup and spent the entire time waving at my face. But omg, Jordan looked so beautiful, and Kacee looked like a boss, and the ceremony and reception were legit straight out of a magazine! I couldn’t have imagined anything more beautiful or perfect for the two of them. It was fancy, but not stuck-up or traditional, and it was one of the loveliest events I’ve ever had the privilege of attending. Every detail added up to be the most wonderful wedding to join to amazing people who really do have the kind of love that lasts a lifetime. Just LOOK at this thing: 

OH MY GAWWWWWD THIS ONE ^^^^^ ::dies:: 

After the ceremony, it was time to eat, dance, slow dance, and for me to get two helpings of cake. Like a boss. 

Jordan & Kacee kept sneaking away from their entire reception to come hang out with me and the Bunny. We felt incredibly special, especially when they said something along the lines of, “I wish everyone would leave and we could just hang out with you guys.”

Jeeze, I’m tall. 

Anyway, the wedding was absolutely beautiful and fun and I had an amazing time. Jordan & Kacee gave me and the Bunny their extra hotel room for the night, right across the hall from their room. Bow chicka bow wow. ;) 

Good times. Good times indeed.

Ahem.

Moving on!

So now it’s the Thursday before the Halloween weekend, and the go-go gore continued for DJ Ants’ birthday bash at Revolution. It was the annual BLOOD BATH party, so naturally I made a lot of reeeeally awkward feminine products jokes and danced my little booty off.

It’s Halloween season, my darlings! Finally. So the next night, on Friday, I went back up to Jacksonville, solo this time, to InCahoots for their Halloween Kick-Off Party!

Wall-to-wall homos & lesbos + me + 3 drag queens = one wicked fun night! The Jacksonville girls *turned it out*! I had about 20 new Facebook friend requests by the time I got home. ;) Which was about 4 a.m. again. Sleep deprived!

I was up again Saturday to get ready for Rev’s Ladies’ Night Halloween party! I decided [the day of!] to do Tomb Raider, so the Bunny and I ran around town getting pieces together and I made my costume in under an hour. Bam! And check out that weave! ;)

And in action at Rev…

Angelina, eat your heart out! lol

The night was a blast, and I got to see some of my favorites, like these two, who just got married! Gosh, it’s the season for weddings, isn’t it?

And to close out October, there was, of course, Halloween night. Ana Mosity and I got to play at Revolution: she, a Voodoo Queen, and me, the girl with one eye. Florence + the Machine, anyone? ;)

And here we are:

So much has already happened in just the first week of November, so I’ll be burning the midnight oil the next few days documenting all the wonderful, unicorny things!

Hope your October was lovely, and that November is treating you like a darling!

p.s. In non-unicorn news, my iPhone got stolen. It’s anti-unicorn news, really. Sad trombones! To whoever stole it, I say to you:

I’ve been doing burlesque and go-go shows for nearly seven years now. I make a lot of my own costumes, and it’s part of what I love so much about the gig: the creativity and glamour that goes into a look. I taught myself how to sew when I was just a wee one, long before I shook my first tailfeather on stage. I’ve been hooked ever since, and growing up half my wardrobe was homemade, like this dress:

It was only natural for me to take my sewing skillz and add in epic amounts of sequins to make my own shiz when I started performing.

The Bunny, who has an inner gay man named Jeffrey, has killer style and an eye for aesthetics. She has always commended me on my costume-making abilities, and recently, after spending way too much of our time perusing Etsy, asked me point-blank why I don’t have an Etsy store for burlesque and go-go getups. I honestly never thought I could do something that grand.

But really, what better person to make and sell burlesque costumes than someone who lives 50% of her life on a stage? Looking through different Etsy stores, I realized that a lot of the stuff I make for myself looks WAY more rad than what is currently being sold. I also realized that I could make pretty much anything: tutus, burlesque bustles, bras, shimmy skirts, bottoms, etc., in any color, with any embellishment. I’m like my own little sweat shop!

The Bunny convinced me [a.k.a. she pretty much had to throw down & fight me on it] that we should continue my creative expression and start an Etsy store. So we’ve been working our buns off to make enough complete looks to start a store (and we have a few more pieces that are nearly finished!), and here we are today! We couldn’t wait any longer….

So welcome to the Grand Opening of Le Vixen Designs on Etsy!

www.etsy.com/shop/LeVixenDesigns

Le Vixen Designs is the lovechild of a sparkle-obsessed burlesque princess and a London street stylist extraordinaire. Armed with an arsenal of pretty little things and wicked thoughts, this crafting & creating duo is determined to give glamour gals irresistible frocks, costumes, and accessories.

From high burlesque styles to gritty punk rock, Le Vixen Designs fulfill the needs of professional goddesses, rockabilly temptresses, sequin addicts, style queens and fearless, fierce girls obsessed with adventure & looking fabulous (naturally).

And this is just the beginning! We do custom orders, plus have several more costumes almost finished and ready to be photographed, and we’ll be including pasties, bra & bottom sets, shimmy skirts, accessories and more, more, more! I’ll be sure to keep you updated on all the goodies that we’ve been making. And trust me, it’s been A LOT of work. Especially with two cats who think we’re pulling out fabric, feathers, sequins, and hundreds of yards of tulle for their entertainment and tactical training!

meep! slo-mo Banksy haha

xx

p.s. HUGE THANKS to Jim Hobart & Charlotte Nash of Macbeth Photography for the amazing shots! And MUA Nicole Dupre for those perfect red lips. Mad love, yo!

a.k.a. Reason #234,088 why I’m the best girlfriend in the world. ;)

So last month was mine and the Bunny’s birthdays. I wanted to do something really special for her, because she’s wonderful and deserves it. So I got to brainstormin’ a few months before the birthday (I like to plan ahead), and decided on something utterly ridiculous and completely perfect. I was going to take my Bun to see LLAMAS!

This isn’t as crazy or random as you would imagine. You see, the Bunny loves llamas. They’re her favorite animal. Llamas to the Bun are like unicorns to me. 

I didn’t know she had a thing for llamas until she came to my house for the first time and saw, prominently displayed among my unicorns, my own llama:

She couldn’t believe her eyes! So right from the start, she was like, “Hmm…this girl. There’s something here.” ;)

We even took my little Llama on a day of adventures!

Anyway, fast forward many moons, and here I am, deciding that I shall take my boo to see real, live llamas! The only time she’s ever seen a llama in real life was when I took her to the circus, but it was in a big arena and there was only one llama, and it was a million miles away. She still freaked out as if the llama had asked her to tea. I remembered this moment, and how excited she was, and it spurred me on in my quest. 

So I started my research. If you read my blog you know I work at Medieval Times. I started there, asking the horse trainers if they knew where I could find a llama. [I love how I can ask ridiculous questions, and no one blinks an eye.] Unfortunately, their leads and direction led to nothing. So I moved on to the Interwebz, where I found A LOT of information about llamas, llama organizations, llama and alpaca meet-ups, etc., but no llamas in the area. I ended up going through a llama directory (this is just so silly) until I found the Oakrest Llama Ranch in Sarasota, FL. I was thrilled! I mean, THIS was on their website:

SCORE! I knew this was the place! So I sent them an email, that went something like this:

Hello, there!

My girlfriend loves llamas. Her birthday is coming up, so I wanted to take her to see llamas in real life. What kind of llama adventures do you offer, if any? And also how much does it cost to visit your llamas?

Kind regards,

Eveleena

Even though this is not the most ridiculous email I’ve sent in my time, it’s definitely up there.

I was crestfallen when I didn’t hear anything back. So I called them, and left a paraphrased version of my email in a voicemail. Nothin’. I checked their website, and saw that their events page hadn’t been updated since April. I didn’t know if the Oakrest Llama Ranch even existed anymore! But I would not be put off the chase. When you’re given a mission by Gandalf, you take that ring all the way! (Eek, my nerd is showing.)

So I persisted and finally Kathy, the lovely woman who runs the ranch, picked up my call. She is an absolutely doll! We spoke on the phone for nearly 30 minutes. She had been in France, and when she returned several of her llamas were sick, so although she had my email and phone number on her to-do list, she had a few things that required more immediate attention. She apologized profusely, and told me how excited she was that I was doing something so wonderfully llama-related for the Bun’s bday.

Now, I’m expecting that we’ll just go to the ranch and look at llamas over a fence as they graze in the distance. But nay! Kathy told me that she had 24 llamas, and two baby llamas, and she’ll saddle them up and we can take the llamas on a mile-long walk and pet them and hug them and LOVE THEM and and and! Oh, Kathy the Dreamweaver! 

We planned on the Sunday before the Bunny’s birthday for the visit. Kathy told me that llamas don’t sweat (and now YOU know!), so we couldn’t come visit them in the afternoon. So that left the morning and the evening. I was praying to the Starbucks gods that she wouldn’t say morning…[working at Rev the night before, then having to drive two hours to Sarasota to reach llamas…it would have been a narcoleptic nightmare!]…but thank Venti Jesus, she said, “How would 6 in the evening be for you?” Oh, Kathy, I love ya! 

I was bursting with excitement. This was going to be the best day ever!

Now, I just had to keep it a secret. 

You guys, it was really, really hard. After I spoke with Kathy and confirmed the llama adventure day, I immediately called the Bunny to tell her to not make plans for the Sunday before her birthday, and I pretty much hung up on her because I almost told her. Instead, I called my friend Jordan and started yelling, “LLAMAS!!!” just to get it out of my system. 

The Bunny was ruthless in her endeavor to find out what I had planned. She kept asking if it was something to do with Spiderman, because she loves Spiderman. And then she kept asking if it had to do with llamas (!!), but that’s like me asking if you’re bringing my to see real, live unicorns: wishful thinking, but no actual conviction. 

So the big day finally arrived! We drove down to Sarasota, the Bunny completely bewildered and still having absolutely no idea what was going on. It was raining, which meant I was freaking out the entire drive because I don’t know llamas’ weather preference and what if they wouldn’t come out and what if the whole plan was ruined?!

Kathy called me about 30 minutes before our ETA of 6, and reassured me that the weather wouldn’t ruin the day, unless we minded getting a bit wet. [I tried to not make that a lesbian innuendo in my head, but I can’t help it!] I told her we didn’t mind one bit. 

Only hearing my side of the conversation, the Bunny was even more confused. MUAHAHAHAHAH!

We pulled up in front of Kathy’s home, and the Bunny was like, “Babe…um…do you know this person, or are we just at some random’s person house in the middle of nowhe…OH MY GOD LLAMAS!!!!!”

For you see, a llama or two came peaking around the corner of the house. 

And so began the adventure! Kathy came out and took us around to the llama barn where we met our new llama friends.

The Bunny proceed to freak the fuck out. 

‘eyyyyyy. ;)

So beautiful. haha

OMG Baby Bambi Llama!

OMG! Snowy white baby llama!

As Kathy introduced us to each llama in turn, we learned a little about each one, their personalities, and about llama-lore in general. The llamas are so gentle that she uses them as service animals, and takes them into nursing homes, schools, and churches.

In fact, the day before her llamas were working with special needs children. Even more in fact, we met this llama, who won the Hero Animal of the Year 2011 award for his work in nursing homes! 

[He looks mighty majestic, doesn’t he?]

It was still raining, but now it was time for our promised walk with the llamas. We were each going to have our own llama to walk (hooray!). My llama was the lovely American Glory:

And then Kathy introduced the Bunny to her llama:

Guess what his name is! JUST GUESS!

Spiderman.

No fuckin’ way. I couldn’t believe it. Remember how I said the Bun loved Spiderman and llamas? And now here she is, about to take a llama named Spiderman on a walk. BEST DAY OF HER LIFE! 

Oh, no big deal. Just walking a llama and letting him eat some grass. 

We took our llamas on a good 30-40 minute walk, and pretty much had the best time ever!

When we got back, we spent a few more minutes with llamas. 

The Bunny getting photo-bombed by a llama. :)

And me, with Paintball Pete, who has a gimpy leg and who Kathy dresses up as a unicorn. No lie. He was obviously my favorite. 

So there was something for everyone!

I have never seen the Bunny as happy as she was walking Spiderman the Llama. :)

WIN!

I gave Kathy a large donation for Oakrest Llama Ranch, and I was told it would buy a lot of treats for the llamas. 

Speaking of treats, the day wasn’t over yet!

My friend Jessie used to live in Sarasota and recommended the Columbia Restaurant, which is Florida’s oldest restaurant, with locations in Ybor City (the original), Sarasota, and a few other spots throughout Florida. It’s a bit pricey, but I wanted the day to be perfect, right down to the dinner. 

So we went, and when we arrived, it looked totally slammed. The hostess at the front handed me a menu and told me that they only had a limited menu for the evening, and for me to look at the prices.

At first I thought she was trying to say that we looked poor and probably couldn’t afford the restaurant (Pretty Woman syndrome), but then she explained that it was their 107th Anniversary Celebration, where all prices were the same as when they opened in 1905. It was the ONE DAY out of the year that they have this celebration, and they were 15 minutes away from stopping taking customers. So we were sat pretty immediately, enjoyed a delicious and MASSIVE meal, with appetizer and entree, and stuffed ourselves silly.

Our bill came to $6.37. WHAT. THE. HELL. 

I’m pretty sure the Universe has a crush on me. 

And there you have it, folks! Llama adventures, a delicious dinner, and the tale of why I’m the best girlfriend in the world. :)

xx

Oh, p.s. Remember how I said the Bunny had only seen ONE llama ever, and it was at the circus? Well, turns out that very llama came from the Oakrest Llama Ranch! Crazy, huh? Small (llama) world. 

I hope you all had a wicked good weekend! It was PRIDE here in Orlando, and it was absolutely out of control!

Of course there were festivities going on all week, but the big to-do was, of course, Saturday at Lake Eola. Hundreds, even thousands, of gay people crowding the streets of downtown and the Thorton Park area. It’s known as the Gayborhood, even without Pride going on, and ironically, it’s also where I live [or maybe it’s known as the Gayborhood BECAUSE it’s where I live].

But anyway - vendors, food sellers, and rainbow EVERYTHING crowded around the lake along with the horde of homos. It was glorious! I love seeing everyone out and about, being PROUD of their love. I love it! I love it! I love it! [Now, ladies & gents & everyone in between, KEEP THAT SHIT UP ALL YEAR LONG, K?!]

I was decked out in my ridiculous sequin-spangled barely-outfit, but what’s Pride without some crazy people, eh? ;)

At 4 o’clock my favorite part of the day-of-Pride festivities started: the parade!

I was on Revolution’s float, as always. But this year instead of just waving and blowing kisses, I was dancing my ass off (and trying not to BUST MY ASS with our erratic float driver). And, you know, waving and blowing kisses. :)

SO MUCH FUN I LOVE MY LIFE OMGAHHHHH!!

After the parade, I went home to shower, and then off to get some noms with the Bunny and some friends. We finished dinner just in time to catch the fireworks at the lake!

How amazing is it that we get to have FIREWORKS at our Pride?! It’s like the 4th of July but WAY MORE colorful. ;)

The entire day was just brilliant and amazing, full of love and passion and pride. But then it was time for the night to take over and for the party to really get started. And HOLY BABY JESUS IN A JAM JAR! Revolution Nightclub…you were TREMENDOUS! 

We had 1300 packed into Revolution. Packed like Jesus in a jam jar. The line was around the building at 10 o’clock!

Now, allow me to put this into perspective. At Medieval Times, our arena’s capacity is 1200 people. So we fit 100 MORE PEOPLE into Revolution than fit into a dinner show’s ARENA. CRAZY!

I had an amazing, sweaty time, gettin’ down and dirty on the dance floor with 1300 lesbos!!

I couldn’t have asked for a better weekend! I hope everyone had as much fun as I did, if not more, and spent the weekend with people you love. <3

Don’t stop living the dream, lovers!

xx

What a crazy few weeks! I’m another year older and can’t help but feel incredibly, unbelievably lucky. I know this life takes a lot [A LOT] of work, but I’m constantly reminded that my life is pretty badass and that the work is worth it. Untraditional doesn’t even begin to cover it, but this is the life I want. It’s the life I’ve worked my little booty off for, and the reality of it all is just too epic to have ever imagined.

I flew up to Knoxville the Wednesday before my birthday for the 2 year anniversary party for One 4 All Magazine. :)

[Sadly, the Bunny couldn’t go with me. Being the soccer football star that she is, she had to travel with her team. Thursday, they flew to Memphis, ironically. Same state, but still six hours away. So I didn’t get to see her. Sad trombones! But it gets even more sad…I flew home on Friday (to an empty house [aside from kitties]), and on Saturday [on my birthday] she traveled from Tennessee to Alabama to prepare for another match. Then Sunday (the Bunny’s birthday! [yep, her birthday is the day after mine]), they played the match and then traveled home late that night. This was the SECOND year in a row where we’ve missed each others’ birthdays. :( She got to the airport in Orlando an hour before her birthday ended. I brought her flowers and a birthday cake pop from Starbucks (naturally), and when she opened the trunk of my car to put her luggage in, there were (Spiderman) balloons! Wee! Party!]

Anyway, rewind! Back to Wednesday. We’re in Knoxville. It’s the One 4 All Magazine anniversary party. I was the only bio girl asked to perform, so of course I felt honored (and kept my fingers crossed some Tennessee lesbians would be out in force that night)!

The other entertainers were a group of truly incredible Queens, who deserve the capital Q.

There was the ever-insane Vanity Love:

The flawless Barbie doll and southern belle, Miss Deception:

The blonde bombshell and local nearly-naked nutcase Xena:

And the legend herself, Monica Munro!

(She needed something red for her hair, so I whipped off my pasties and she actually wore my pasties as hair pieces! hahaha awesome) [I wrote about this legend HERE, so if you want to know about the time I thought she was going to claw my eyes out…clicky click!]

The whole night was for these two guys, Matt & Drew (< the man behind the magazine):

Love them so much!!

Anyway, so the night started out like this:

And ended up like this:

And in between we had one helluva show! The audience was great (I <3 Tennessee girls!), and I really enjoyed my night. I was the only sober one in attendance by the end of the evening, as always, so also the only viable witness to the madness. You see, I love people watching. And what better way to people watch than to be the only sober gal surrounded by drunk trannies, gay boys and gay girls? It’s a riot. ;)

The next morning, everyone crawled out of their caves at Matt & Drew’s, looking like death warmed over. That is, everyone except Deception, who came downstairs looking like the Toddlers & Tiaras love child of Tinkerbell and a Stepford wife.

I told her I needed to learn how to be a girl from her. hah

The house cleared out as Monica and Deception hit the road for home, and then I did what I did the first time I stayed with Matt & Drew: NOTHING! Absolutely nothing! I sat on my ass ALL DAY LONG and watched Roseann and Family Guy marathons and ate food and hung out with the boys. All. Day. Long. It was spectacular and a much-needed hibernation.

The next day I flew home, unpacked, repacked, and went off to the Cold Keg in Melbourne for the Aftermidnite’s Twisted Circus Show!

I was a strongman:

[Thanks, Maia, for these shots!]

And then, at midnight, I turned another year older, dressed as a burlesque circus elephant.

Birthday spankings from Spikey! Eek!

This is my life. So weird. So awesome.

Saturday was my actual birthday, and seeing that the Bunny was still out of town (sad face), I spent the day drinking tea and hanging with my kitties, catching up on everything I put off the past week. Then my dear friends Jordan and Kacee took me out to a sushi dinner (nom!).

And then it was off to my big birthday bash at Revolution!

When I got to Revolution, I was shocked. My friends are amazing! They showed up at Revolution hours early to decorate THE ENTIRE club, the dressing room, and to set up a major surprise.

So right off the bat, I was grinning like an idiot!

And then it was showtime!

Ana Mosity did an EPIC Madonna mash-up, looking like the queen herself.

And then I had SO MUCH FUN performing my mix. SexyClassicDubstep, BAM!

Yay!

After my number, Ana Mosity, a.k.a. Franki Markstone, a.k.a. My amazing sister vixen, had the club do a blackout, and when the lights came on, more than half the audience had become UNICORNS! Including me!

It was a sea of sparkly unicorns! A unicorn army!

Oh, wait, it’s not over yet!

I got the most epic birthday lapdance of the CENTURY! My Vixens were there, plus Teddy D & Gabe, Franki’s husband. DAMN.

I am one lucky woman!

Thank you so much to everyone who came out to have a boogie for my birthday! A huge, massive, unicorn-army-sized THANK YOU to my sister Vixen and platonic life partner Franki Markstone for all her work to make my birthday so special!! Also, thank you Thee Amanda Biebs for working your ass off to help decorate Rev and for going above & beyond! And Melody Maia Monet for capturing the crazytown night of my birthday on camera. Thanks to Tia Kadena & Evie Fuentes for making me blush ;) and for being such gorgeous, amazing women on Team Vixen!

I had the best birthday bash in the history of EVER! Dancing the night away…it’s the best way to kick off a new year.

xx!

Talk nerdy to me, baby!

Thanks, Bunny, for helping! ;)

Hot for teacher!

A huge shout out to Macbeth Photography for these awesome shots! Funny how we were just playing around, yet got some damn good dirty nerdy photos. ;) 

Or at least, that’s my story. ;) Cleaning is so passé.

I would love for this lady to come to my house once a week. I think she could also handle my emails and phone calls. And maybe bring her own vacuum. We bought one from a pawn shop and it smells like dog. [Which makes it extra terrifying for our cats…]

Anyway, I got to hang out with my dad and my stepmom on Thursday (!). They met the Bunny [briefly], and my stepmom thinks the Bunny is, “radiant.” Pretty accurate description. ;) The Bunny thinks my dad sounds like Johnny Cash. Also accurate. 

Sweet ‘stache, right? My dad is the jam, my stepmom is a doll, and I am so so so happy they’re here!

Anyway, Thursday night I was working at Revolution. The Bunny didn’t want me to go, so she took my phone and tried to get me to send this to my boss:

Very convincing, huh? ;)

But this gal needs some cash money flow, so off to work (it) I went!

Friday my dad, stepmom, brother, my stepsister, her husband, and their two kids [Hannah and Dylan] came to Medieval to see the show. My dad and stepmom haven’t seen me at Medieval since I was 17! Crazy town.

Hannah, age 7, was enthralled with me before she even met me. My stepsister (Shannon, her mama) told Hannah my name and she said, “Oh, she must be beautiful with a name like that! I think we’re going to be really good friends.” Adorable! And THEN she meets me fore the first time, and I’m all Princess-afied, and so of course her 7-year-old little mind imploded.

I was able to have Hannah and Dylan [age 6] AND my brother [age 27] dubbed princess and knights of the realm. REAL princess and REAL knights. ;) I think my brother was more excited than the kids were!

Hannah was crowned the Queen of Love of Beauty! [A pretty high honor over at the castle.] Anyway, my family loved the (new) show, and big a shoutout to Dave the King for switching his schedule around so he could work! He’s my favorite. :)

I saw my family the next day, and Hannah was wearing her sash and crown and parading around. It was adorable. {and according to her mom and dad, we’ve created a monster. hahah}

Oh, and she drew me a picture of the moment when I was putting the princess crown on her:

I think the boobs are pretty accurate. hahah

Sunday I got to hang out with a hot librarian, the wonderful Miss Mollie!

We had a work/hang out date at the ol’ Sbux, and I think we got about…no work done. At all.

But it was so lovely spending some time with her, chatting about her upcoming wedding, and having a fellow crazy cat lady to dish about all the little shenanigans and hijinks our kitty cats have been getting up to lately.

Like Banksy, deciding his new thing is the fireplace, where he likes to roll around in the ashes, climb up into the chimney, and just generally making a mess of life.

Look at those dirty paws!!! He’s leaving little black pawprints all over my house. Jerk. AND my landlord told me to be careful because he’s had cats end up on the roof because they climb up the chimney. Banksy is totally the kind of cat to do that, so now I’m a nervous wreck.

But after much finagling [with help from the Bunny], we’ve rigged our fireplace so that he can’t get in. Until he figures out a way. For now, he just lays in front of the fireplace barricade, plotting his next move. Naughty boy.

That’s his evil mastermind face. ^

Anyway, there are no more lazy days for me the rest of the month. My schedule coming up is RIDIC. Are you guys ready for this insanity??

Here ya go!

• Thursday: I’ll be at Revolution, go-go dancing in all my tribal glory for this party:

• Friday: I have a fabulous photo shoot with my Vixens and the amazing MacBeth Photography! Hooray! We’ll be shooting most of the day. Jim, I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly. ;) 
  
  
  
  
  
• Friday night: After shooting all day, I’m stealing a few of my girls and we’re heading up to the Norm in Jacksonville for our favorite Friday show!

• Saturday: We’ll be getting home from Jacksonville around 4 a.m. (yikes!), so after a bit of sleep, and some writing [oh, yeah, still gotta hit my deadlines!] I’ll be getting ready for this really, really creative party idea from Revolution. ;) Naughty school girls…always a classic!

• Sunday: I’m taking the Bunny on a super-secret birthday surprise trip! I’M SO EXCITED!!!!!!! She has no idea where we’re going, but I’ll be sure to post pictures and dish all the details when we get back. ;)
  
  
  
  Muahahahaha! I love surprises…and this .gif. ^

• Monday: Catching up on writing, and then I’ll be back at the castle for some princessing with my favorite wenches and my favorite Trumpeteer and my favorite king!

• Tuesday: I think I’ll do some yoga and SLEEP!

Because …

• Wednesday: I’m flying to Knoxville to perform for this AMAZING event!

Congratulations, One 4 All!! Drew & Matt…you boys are amazing!

• Friday: I fly home from Tennessee…just in time to repack and head to Cold Keg Nightclub for The AfterMidnites Twizted Circus show!

At midnight it’s MY BIRTHDAY! Woohoo!!

^ That’s how I’m gonna dance.

• Saturday: I’ll be celebrating my birthday at Revolution!!

So come party with meeeeeeeee! It’s going to be a wicked fun few weeks, and I hope to see all my favorite people at my birthday bash at Revolution, or somewhere in between!

Lots of love, lovers!

xo

p.s. So my friends set this up and it’s really sweet of them. I feel totally awkward about it, but I know they’re working hard on something for my birthday so I figured I share it with you guys, in case you wanted to join them in their conspiring. ;) So CLICK HERE to see what they’re up to and how you can get on this crazy gravy train!

Please and thank you. :)