Posts tagged girlfriend
Posts tagged girlfriend
What more could a girl ask for, really?
I know this happens to pretty much every single person when the weather turns, but dear baby Jesus! I want to cuddle, drink tea, take long walks, go camping, sit & sew, wear comfy sweaters and scarves, and OMG I can go outside without the sun trying to burn my skin off and humidity trying to make me sweat my life away.
But in other news, so much awesome was packed into the last few weeks of October. Take a journey with me, lovers, back in time to a not-so-distant past…
First, we kicked off the good times with a private event near the beginning of the month. A private, Star Wars themed event. Yes, it was as awesome as it sounded and I couldn’t believe how lucky I am that part of my job description includes Nerdy Burlesque shows. I don’t normally do private events, but I made the exception because A.) it involved good friends whom I trust completely, and B.) Star Wars!
Yes, that meant I got to bust out my burlesque Ewok again…
Life is rad.
After the private event, I ran my little tush on over to Revolution for a bit of a boogie. [I love double-booking days! Show after show after show, yes please!]
And the week marched on. Friday is usually the last day of the work week for most people, but for me, it’s somewhere in the middle. So I filled it with attempts at being a grown-up: paying bills, doing some writing, getting my life organized. But then it was time to pack up again, grab some pretty ladies, and hit the road to Jacksonville and the Norm!
Annnnd home again at 4 a.m. One day I will be a morning person, but that’s only after this night owl retires. ;)
Rev on that Saturday was really fun because it was my dear friend Kacee’s bachelor party. Jordan and Kacee are getting married (and, in fact, DID get married! And you can read all about it in just a few minutes…) and while her beautiful bride has maneuvered most of the wedding details and shenanigans, Kacee had two requests about which she would not budge: One, that she get to wear Converse in the wedding. And two, that she gets to have her bachelor party at Rev, and Jordan has to have her bachelorette party elsewhere.
Because Kacee actually fought for her right to party, I knew I had to bring it. The pressure was on me to make sure she had a bachelor party she’d never forget! [I think mission accomplished. ;)]
I made a Marilyn Manson mix and got some hot wax ready, and prepared for an evening that was sure to be on the raunchy side of naughty.
So their night started like this:
And then they made it to Rev, where a bit of this happened:
That’s Kacee in the chair, there, by the way. [And the thing is…Kacee & Jordan both like performers who are a bit darker. I’m a fuckin’ cupcake, so it’s really strange that they love me so much as an entertainer. But I think Kacee put it best: “You are all cupcakey, but then you’ll give a look that a Succubus would be proud of…so it’s a good mix.”] Sometimes I can bust out something more dark, and this was definitely the night to do it. ;)
All this, plus some hot wax, and followed up by a good whipping! [I had permission from the bride to whip Kacee as hard as I wanted to…yikes!] <But we have learned at Rev that femme girls can always take a good whipping, while butch girls tend to be…well,
pussys about it. But Kacee ended up beating [heh no pun intended] the butch record of 32 spankings! What a trooper! [yes, she still had the bruises on her wedding day. dang.] I also had the pleasure of giving her grooms(wo)man, Arika, a bit of the same treatment. They LOVED it!
Yes, that would be an icepack between them. ;) Trust me, they loved it! Or at least that’s the story I heard…
Anyway, moving on to the cupcakey things I was up to in October!
Such as being a princess and sipping on tea [sometimes at the very same time!]. :)
And taking long strolls with the Bunny to art galleries where I discover massive photos hanging of me and my Vixens. [neat!]
And doing lots of writing, even with kitties falling asleep on my arm.
And preparing for my bestie Mollie’s bachelerotte weekend!
We have been keeping the B-Party a secret from Mollie FOR MONTHS. Her Maid of Honor sent us a general idea of what she was thinking, and asked for suggestions on filling in the gaps:
Friday night: Slumber Party/Potluck/Crafty Time/Movie Night at the MOH’s parents’ place in Bradenton. Because we’re THAT kind of Bachelorette Party, not the other kind. ;)
Saturday: Brewery tour of Mollie’s favorite brewery. Dinner in Ybor, and then dancey-dance it up somewhere in Ybor that night. Hotel stay that night.
Sunday: Drag Queen Brunch at Hamburger Mary’s.
It all sounded fantastic, especially because the guest list included many of my best friends in the entire world, and also because Mollie is amazing and no matter what we were going to do, it was going to be awesome! I made sure I had Rev covered so I could take the weekend off, and got ready for an extraordinarily good time.
Anyway, pause. rewind. reverse. back it up to Mollie’s bridal shower a few weeks before. At this point, Mollie still didn’t have any idea what we were planning for her B-Party. All she knew was that midget strippers would NOT be included. The MOH and those of us in on the bachelorette conspiracy planning had a few moments to chat during the bridal shower, away from the bride-to-be, and we still weren’t sure about where we’d be staying or where we’d be going to dance on Saturday night. But we weren’t worried; things like that usually work themselves out. [foreshadowing!]
Anyway, I checked my email from my phone when I was at the bridal shower and BAM, there was an email from the Ritz in Ybor, a massive concert venue. They were hosting a Zombie Prom on the EXACT Saturday of our B-Party…
They said they knew I was probably already booked, but they would love to have me go-go dance for their Zombie Prom if I was available. Now, Mollie had JUST been saying how she wanted to be a zombie bride for Halloween…so I started getting really excited. Even if I didn’t work this event, it still sounded like I had discovered our dancey-dance place for the night!
I ended up writing them back, because I was, in fact, not booked on that Saturday (for the first time ever), and needed some more deets before I could commit. For example, would I be able to go-go in sets, so I could hang out with my besties? Would I have a guest list for the bachelorette party girls? What’s the pay? Blah, blah, etc.
Here’s what they came back with:
I talked to the MOH and she said, “Omg, that’s PERFECT!”
So I booked myself, and now not only was I no longer missing out on a weekend pay, I cut costs for the entire bachelorette party for our hotel stay and club cover, and gave the ladies a wicked fun party to attend!
Flash forward to Friday night of the bachelorette party. I road tripped down to Bradenton with my bestie, the Ninja, and it was the loveliest ride. We drank tea and hot chocolate, talked about the paranormal, and FINALLY got to the point where we were no longer catching up and now just hanging out. So wonderful!
We made it to the rest of the ladies, and spent the night eating, wearing face masks, watching movies, ripping up old prom dresses, spraying blood everywhere, and getting ready to attend our prom!
The next day we hit up Tace Bus in Tampa for lunch, and then went on the brewery tour at Cigar City Brewery. I don’t drink and I especially don’t like beer, but I do like history, tours, and learning new things. ::nerd:: So even the girl who has never had a drink had a good time!
We checked in to our hotel, put a few finishing touches on costumes, enjoyed a LOVELY dinner, and then became undead party people!
So. Much. FUN!
After the prom, the ladies went to grab some grub after hitting up a few more dancey-dance parties, and I went back to the hotel to get my makeup off and to get into some jammy-jams. I needed a bit of sleep, because in the morning, I was off again!
The Ninja and I road-tripped it back to Orlando, and after depositing her at a secret location, I high-tailed it to UCF to pick up the Bunny. She just finished playing a
soccer football match, and we had to haul ass from UCF to Jacksonville for my dear friends, Kacee (the bachelor from earlier in this post) & Jordan’s wedding. From a bachelerotte party for my bestie right up to a wedding of two besties! What a weekend!
We made it in time (in fact, early! what, what?! That’s unheard of!), and the moment we walked in the venue we ran into Kacee and her grooms(wo)man, Arika. The four of us escaped to the bathroom so we could get away from the crowds of people. Kacee said something along the lines of, “I’m excited with a side of I might puke.” haha!
(But look how hot she looked!)
Then I got to go see the beautiful bride before the ceremony and…
Holy baby Elvis, she looked BEAUTIFUL!
I told her she looked like how she probably has always hoped she’d look on her wedding day. Perfection.
On the way there, the Bunny asked if I was going to cry. I replied, “Psh, kuh huh fuh..no. Obviously not.” I didn’t even bring tissues, I was so confident in my stone-cold heart.
But you guys…I am one sappy sonuvagun these days. During the ceremony I ruined my makeup and spent the entire time waving at my face. But omg, Jordan looked so beautiful, and Kacee looked like a boss, and the ceremony and reception were legit straight out of a magazine! I couldn’t have imagined anything more beautiful or perfect for the two of them. It was fancy, but not stuck-up or traditional, and it was one of the loveliest events I’ve ever had the privilege of attending. Every detail added up to be the most wonderful wedding to join to amazing people who really do have the kind of love that lasts a lifetime. Just LOOK at this thing:
OH MY GAWWWWWD THIS ONE ^^^^^ ::dies::
After the ceremony, it was time to eat, dance, slow dance, and for me to get two helpings of cake. Like a boss.
Jordan & Kacee kept sneaking away from their entire reception to come hang out with me and the Bunny. We felt incredibly special, especially when they said something along the lines of, “I wish everyone would leave and we could just hang out with you guys.”
Jeeze, I’m tall.
Anyway, the wedding was absolutely beautiful and fun and I had an amazing time. Jordan & Kacee gave me and the Bunny their extra hotel room for the night, right across the hall from their room. Bow chicka bow wow. ;)
Good times. Good times indeed.
So now it’s the Thursday before the Halloween weekend, and the go-go gore continued for DJ Ants’ birthday bash at Revolution. It was the annual BLOOD BATH party, so naturally I made a lot of reeeeally awkward feminine products jokes and danced my little booty off.
It’s Halloween season, my darlings! Finally. So the next night, on Friday, I went back up to Jacksonville, solo this time, to InCahoots for their Halloween Kick-Off Party!
Wall-to-wall homos & lesbos + me + 3 drag queens = one wicked fun night! The Jacksonville girls *turned it out*! I had about 20 new Facebook friend requests by the time I got home. ;) Which was about 4 a.m. again. Sleep deprived!
I was up again Saturday to get ready for Rev’s Ladies’ Night Halloween party! I decided [the day of!] to do Tomb Raider, so the Bunny and I ran around town getting pieces together and I made my costume in under an hour. Bam! And check out that weave! ;)
And in action at Rev…
Angelina, eat your heart out! lol
The night was a blast, and I got to see some of my favorites, like these two, who just got married! Gosh, it’s the season for weddings, isn’t it?
And to close out October, there was, of course, Halloween night. Ana Mosity and I got to play at Revolution: she, a Voodoo Queen, and me, the girl with one eye. Florence + the Machine, anyone? ;)
And here we are:
So much has already happened in just the first week of November, so I’ll be burning the midnight oil the next few days documenting all the wonderful, unicorny things!
Hope your October was lovely, and that November is treating you like a darling!
p.s. In non-unicorn news, my iPhone got stolen. It’s anti-unicorn news, really. Sad trombones! To whoever stole it, I say to you:
The Bunny is away for a
soccer football tournament thingy, and she’s been gone for a few days with a few more left to go. I miss her, and I guess she’s trying to make me miss her even more, because this morning these were delivered to me:
So I’m grinning like an idiot, and blushing (even though she’s not even here), and feeling like I owe some lucky stars a thank-you note or two. This girl is a keeper.
p.s. And she was even thoughtful enough to include kitty-approved packaging!
a.k.a. Reason #234,088 why I’m the best girlfriend in the world. ;)
So last month was mine and the Bunny’s birthdays. I wanted to do something really special for her, because she’s wonderful and deserves it. So I got to brainstormin’ a few months before the birthday (I like to plan ahead), and decided on something utterly ridiculous and completely perfect. I was going to take my Bun to see LLAMAS!
This isn’t as crazy or random as you would imagine. You see, the Bunny loves llamas. They’re her favorite animal. Llamas to the Bun are like unicorns to me.
I didn’t know she had a thing for llamas until she came to my house for the first time and saw, prominently displayed among my unicorns, my own llama:
She couldn’t believe her eyes! So right from the start, she was like, “Hmm…this girl. There’s something here.” ;)
We even took my little Llama on a day of adventures!
Anyway, fast forward many moons, and here I am, deciding that I shall take my boo to see real, live llamas! The only time she’s ever seen a llama in real life was when I took her to the circus, but it was in a big arena and there was only one llama, and it was a million miles away. She still freaked out as if the llama had asked her to tea. I remembered this moment, and how excited she was, and it spurred me on in my quest.
So I started my research. If you read my blog you know I work at Medieval Times. I started there, asking the horse trainers if they knew where I could find a llama. [I love how I can ask ridiculous questions, and no one blinks an eye.] Unfortunately, their leads and direction led to nothing. So I moved on to the Interwebz, where I found A LOT of information about llamas, llama organizations, llama and alpaca meet-ups, etc., but no llamas in the area. I ended up going through a llama directory (this is just so silly) until I found the Oakrest Llama Ranch in Sarasota, FL. I was thrilled! I mean, THIS was on their website:
SCORE! I knew this was the place! So I sent them an email, that went something like this:
My girlfriend loves llamas. Her birthday is coming up, so I wanted to take her to see llamas in real life. What kind of llama adventures do you offer, if any? And also how much does it cost to visit your llamas?
Even though this is not the most ridiculous email I’ve sent in my time, it’s definitely up there.
I was crestfallen when I didn’t hear anything back. So I called them, and left a paraphrased version of my email in a voicemail. Nothin’. I checked their website, and saw that their events page hadn’t been updated since April. I didn’t know if the Oakrest Llama Ranch even existed anymore! But I would not be put off the chase. When you’re given a mission by Gandalf, you take that ring all the way! (Eek, my nerd is showing.)
So I persisted and finally Kathy, the lovely woman who runs the ranch, picked up my call. She is an absolutely doll! We spoke on the phone for nearly 30 minutes. She had been in France, and when she returned several of her llamas were sick, so although she had my email and phone number on her to-do list, she had a few things that required more immediate attention. She apologized profusely, and told me how excited she was that I was doing something so wonderfully llama-related for the Bun’s bday.
Now, I’m expecting that we’ll just go to the ranch and look at llamas over a fence as they graze in the distance. But nay! Kathy told me that she had 24 llamas, and two baby llamas, and she’ll saddle them up and we can take the llamas on a mile-long walk and pet them and hug them and LOVE THEM and and and! Oh, Kathy the Dreamweaver!
We planned on the Sunday before the Bunny’s birthday for the visit. Kathy told me that llamas don’t sweat (and now YOU know!), so we couldn’t come visit them in the afternoon. So that left the morning and the evening. I was praying to the Starbucks gods that she wouldn’t say morning…[working at Rev the night before, then having to drive two hours to Sarasota to reach llamas…it would have been a narcoleptic nightmare!]…but thank Venti Jesus, she said, “How would 6 in the evening be for you?” Oh, Kathy, I love ya!
I was bursting with excitement. This was going to be the best day ever!
Now, I just had to keep it a secret.
You guys, it was really, really hard. After I spoke with Kathy and confirmed the llama adventure day, I immediately called the Bunny to tell her to not make plans for the Sunday before her birthday, and I pretty much hung up on her because I almost told her. Instead, I called my friend Jordan and started yelling, “LLAMAS!!!” just to get it out of my system.
The Bunny was ruthless in her endeavor to find out what I had planned. She kept asking if it was something to do with Spiderman, because she loves Spiderman. And then she kept asking if it had to do with llamas (!!), but that’s like me asking if you’re bringing my to see real, live unicorns: wishful thinking, but no actual conviction.
So the big day finally arrived! We drove down to Sarasota, the Bunny completely bewildered and still having absolutely no idea what was going on. It was raining, which meant I was freaking out the entire drive because I don’t know llamas’ weather preference and what if they wouldn’t come out and what if the whole plan was ruined?!
Kathy called me about 30 minutes before our ETA of 6, and reassured me that the weather wouldn’t ruin the day, unless we minded getting a bit wet. [I tried to not make that a lesbian innuendo in my head, but I can’t help it!] I told her we didn’t mind one bit.
Only hearing my side of the conversation, the Bunny was even more confused. MUAHAHAHAHAH!
We pulled up in front of Kathy’s home, and the Bunny was like, “Babe…um…do you know this person, or are we just at some random’s person house in the middle of nowhe…OH MY GOD LLAMAS!!!!!”
For you see, a llama or two came peaking around the corner of the house.
And so began the adventure! Kathy came out and took us around to the llama barn where we met our new llama friends.
The Bunny proceed to freak the fuck out.
So beautiful. haha
OMG Baby Bambi Llama!
OMG! Snowy white baby llama!
As Kathy introduced us to each llama in turn, we learned a little about each one, their personalities, and about llama-lore in general. The llamas are so gentle that she uses them as service animals, and takes them into nursing homes, schools, and churches.
In fact, the day before her llamas were working with special needs children. Even more in fact, we met this llama, who won the Hero Animal of the Year 2011 award for his work in nursing homes!
[He looks mighty majestic, doesn’t he?]
It was still raining, but now it was time for our promised walk with the llamas. We were each going to have our own llama to walk (hooray!). My llama was the lovely American Glory:
And then Kathy introduced the Bunny to her llama:
Guess what his name is! JUST GUESS!
No fuckin’ way. I couldn’t believe it. Remember how I said the Bun loved Spiderman and llamas? And now here she is, about to take a llama named Spiderman on a walk. BEST DAY OF HER LIFE!
Oh, no big deal. Just walking a llama and letting him eat some grass.
We took our llamas on a good 30-40 minute walk, and pretty much had the best time ever!
When we got back, we spent a few more minutes with llamas.
The Bunny getting photo-bombed by a llama. :)
And me, with Paintball Pete, who has a gimpy leg and who Kathy dresses up as a unicorn. No lie. He was obviously my favorite.
So there was something for everyone!
I have never seen the Bunny as happy as she was walking Spiderman the Llama. :)
I gave Kathy a large donation for Oakrest Llama Ranch, and I was told it would buy a lot of treats for the llamas.
Speaking of treats, the day wasn’t over yet!
My friend Jessie used to live in Sarasota and recommended the Columbia Restaurant, which is Florida’s oldest restaurant, with locations in Ybor City (the original), Sarasota, and a few other spots throughout Florida. It’s a bit pricey, but I wanted the day to be perfect, right down to the dinner.
So we went, and when we arrived, it looked totally slammed. The hostess at the front handed me a menu and told me that they only had a limited menu for the evening, and for me to look at the prices.
At first I thought she was trying to say that we looked poor and probably couldn’t afford the restaurant (Pretty Woman syndrome), but then she explained that it was their 107th Anniversary Celebration, where all prices were the same as when they opened in 1905. It was the ONE DAY out of the year that they have this celebration, and they were 15 minutes away from stopping taking customers. So we were sat pretty immediately, enjoyed a delicious and MASSIVE meal, with appetizer and entree, and stuffed ourselves silly.
Our bill came to $6.37. WHAT. THE. HELL.
I’m pretty sure the Universe has a crush on me.
And there you have it, folks! Llama adventures, a delicious dinner, and the tale of why I’m the best girlfriend in the world. :)
Oh, p.s. Remember how I said the Bunny had only seen ONE llama ever, and it was at the circus? Well, turns out that very llama came from the Oakrest Llama Ranch! Crazy, huh? Small (llama) world.
…among other things. ;)
…somehow ended up on a politically progressive Facebook page with a bit of additional commentary:
I was beyond surprised to come home to find this photo posted on my Facebook wall, and was shocked when I saw the attention it was getting.
Check out the original thread on Facebook HERE. Some of the comments were absolutely ridiculous, ignorant, and demoralizing, while others were inspiring and beautifully supportive.
I especially loved what the Bunny had to say:
“To clear things up, this is me and my long-term girlfriend at Pensacola Pride. At any Pride event it doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight, trans, bi or whatever you wanna be .. You’re there to have a good time and have pride in who you are. We’re not kissing for attention and we both don’t even drink .. we’re kissing purely because we love each other. And hey, if this makes there be better marriage equality then forget everything else about this picture besides what this is actually for. Everyone should have the right to marry. And if I could marry the love of my life, who I’m kissing in this picture, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”
[I totally have it in writing that she would marry me. SCORE!]
At any rate, regardless of the
radically prejudiced comments, I’m thrilled such a perfect moment could end up serving as a bit of visual promotion for marriage equality. As my dear friend Drew put it, “… that would be your hotness for equal rights!!”