It doesn't matter how many girls you've dated, or how long it's been since you were "full-blown lesbian." And I say this with what I believe to be a little bit of authority [superiority? ;) ] as I am fucking PLATINUM. One step above what is known as a "gold-star" gay. I have never even kissed a boy with sexual intent. So, in my mind, if anyone were justified to judge other gays on the basis of how gay they are, it would be me.
Good thing I'm not one to judge.
Our gay stats are almost identical... came out in our late teens, 3 serious relationships, some smatterings of other encounters, etc...
The reality is exactly what you already stated: That being gay is not defined by anything you've done, it's just another piece of who you are. My mother works in an office with lesbians in their 40's who were married for 20 years and have several children. Are these women any less gay or justified in being a part of our community than I am? No friggin way.
If a straight girl kisses another girl at a frat party before a closeted lesbian has the courage to step out, does the straight girl have more of a right to call herself gay? Hardly.
I am eternally grateful that I somehow always knew that boys made better buddies than bedfellows. But that's my story. I am always intrigued to learn about the convoluted paths that lead people to their true identity; how people transform and come into themselves and their lives through any kind of confusion or struggle or happenstance that plants them where they were always meant to be.
Thank you for sharing your story.
So remember that HIGH-FIVE at the end of my last post? You totally get one.
Thank you for your SPOT-ON opinion. I agree with everything you’ve said. And more than that, I appreciate it. You’ve verbalized what’s been on my mind since I received those few questions. I was hoping the people who asked didn’t mean to insinuate that I am somehow “less” because I came out…OH, WHEN I WAS 18. Once I had the knowledge and realization about how I truly felt, I didn’t waste a moment letting the world know who I am. Honestly, my entire adult life (remember, I’m 24 and had my first girlfriend when I WAS 18) I have been with women. So I was perplexed as to why the tone of the last few questions had been so accusatory.
Anyway, I totally adore you. I know who you are, Anon, and you know me. [one of my gems, ladies & gents! can ya see why? ;) ]
Think about it this way:
Everyone is fighting their own battle;
To be free from their past;
To live in their present;
And to create their future.
So have heart.
I figure we have enough going against us [the GLBT community + our allies] in this world. So have heart. Don’t judge, because there isn’t even a valid scale in the first place. It’s hard enough to be an out gay woman in this world; gimme some credit! ;)