June 14, 2012

Every day is a Gay Day! [a.k.a. more adventures!]

No rest for the sleepy unicorn!

We arrived home late Monday night after Pensacola Pride, and endured some love attacks from the kittens and ~~a bit~~ of sleep (unpacking will have to wait…a few weeks….).

The next morning I headed off to Macy’s for the Gay Days kick-off party! I got body painted to represent for Revolution, my make-up done at MAC, and modeled that fabulous bikini (that I got to keep! Thanks, Macy’s!).

After wandering around the mall in a bikini as a walking billboard, I took the rest of the night off to go dance (fully-clothed!) with some of my gems to celebrate my bestie, Mollie’s, birthday!!

Now, Mollie is a librarian. She loves cats as much as I do. She’s into DIY and baking. But this girl can throw down & kick up her heels! So off to Grits & Gravy at Ibar we went, to boogie to some old school tunes, have some shots (mine was just straight pineapple juice, because I’m a badass like that), and welcome another year for this incredible lady!

Throwing up ovary gang signs. Hahaha

It was a lovely night, indeed!

Next up on the agenda was Ana Mosity’s wedding!! She called me to chat about the deets, and at one point, she said, “Now, I only have four bridal bouquets, so I guess we’ll have to do shortest straw to see who has to be the flower girl.”

I responded with: “Excuse me, but fuck that. I AM THE MOTHER FUCKING FLOWER GIRL. Discussion closed.”

Shocked at my vulgar language and vehemence, she just stuttered an, “uhh…okay?” and the conversation continued as normal. You see, I have always wanted to be a flower girl. But once I hit my ~~awkward years~~ (age 8, maybe), I realized that dream would have to die, to be replaced by lanky appendages and tampons.

When the opportunity presented itself for that dream to be revived, like a phoenix rising majestically from the ashes, a primal instinct took over to claim my birthright.

She gave everyone in the wedding party a color, and we had to get our own dress, so I just figured I’d I’d whip something up that I could wear again.

Ana Mosity looked absolutely beautiful.

And I was the best mother fuckin’ flower girl in the history of ever!

DON’T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS, KIDS! You, too, can frolick like the 25-year-old weirdo that you are!

After my dream become true moment, I had to haul ass back to Orlando to get to Rev on time for Thursday College Night Gay Days extravaganza go-go dancing! The crowd was pretty much just all fabulous gay boys, but this lil’ lesbian ended up impressing them with my bedazzled outfit and my “Omg! You’re totally like Britney! But 2006 Britney…” dance moves. ;)

I even had one gentleman come up to me and say, “I am probably the oldest, gayest, fattest guy in this room…but watching you dance makes me feel like the youngest, straightest, hottest guy ever! Thank you so much for just being you. You made tonight totally worth it!”

The next day I was at the Girls at Gay Days pool party…but it got rained out. Sad trombones! [Sunshine State my ass!] I made up for it Saturday, when me and my girls partied hard with Rose & Romi from the Real L Word at the pool party.

It was hot, sweaty, wet & an all-around good time! Oh, and I saw Romi’s boobs. Like, full-frontal boobie action. I’m not into Romi (like, at all.), but I appreciate boobies [of all shapes & sizes], and hers weren’t bad. Not bad at all.

After the pool party, I went home and inspected my fishnet tan lines (dammit, SPF 100! I ask you to keep me pale, and look what you do! Plaid legs.) and then prepared myself for the insanity that was to be Rev!

It was wall-to-wall packed, with girls of every color, shape, size, and level of inebriation. We put on one helluva show, if I do say so myself, and Rose from the Real L Word got a taste of how crazy Orlando girls can get. ;)

The Bunny wanted to go all South East Londoner on her ass, but it was all just in good fun. Plus, Rose is SO not my type. I like swag, but cocky? Not so much. [and honestly, this is going to sound so gay, but ever since meeting the Bunny, I can’t find anyone else attractive. At all. I can’t even TELL if someone is attractive or not. But you know what? I wouldn’t want it any other way. Being 100% with someone is probably the best feeling in the entire world.]

Okay, enough sappy sh*t. The party was ridiculous, and we went hard from start to finish. And yes, glory hallelujah, praise Baby Jesus! Gay Days made it rain!